YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAWW! The Horrible Task is done! I did it! Me! And I lived to tell the tale. AND, on the back of the success of tackling the Scary Paperwork I have made a phone call and received two. I am so proud of myself my heart I could easily explode. It sounds silly, really, that I could be so floored by something I once took for granted. Funnily how life can change and how quickly.
I found out that the business had been making a loss long before I thought it had. I should have known this, I know, but it was a classic case of burying my head in the sand. Also, I was so busy taking on extra teaching work to bring money into the business that I had even less time to spend on managing the money. Looking at the figures in black and white, Dom and I both felt that we had closed the business at the right time, from a business perspective. The business had been losing money; we started to recoup that by expanding, but our income was reduced by a third when the recession hit, and it was a downward trend. We gave it a sensible chance to recover and didn't give up too soon either.
How do I feel about it? Relieved actually. I can see now that I was in a bit of a trap trying to keep everything running. I understand why the business had to close, and I don't feel as ashamed as I did. I feel as though I gave it my best shot, and hung on when other people would have given up. However, I don't think I hung on stubbornly when it never was going to get better; I was sensible and, for some reason, that feels important and gives me more faith in my own judgement, something I lost for some time.
Actually, it's been a pretty nice 24 hours. Charlie and I made a snowman yesterday, which is currently sporting a hand knitted scarf. I will take a photo of it later. I am making toad-in-the-hole for tea, which I am looking forward to disproportionately, and I am knitting a pair of socks. I have had a good go at my 101 in 1001 list - managed two alcohol free days this week, as well as the three phone calls. I am going to print off a list and stick it on the fridge, as well as sort out my blog files later.
I hope you are doing OK today.
Lots of love, Claire xx