tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81030215773789599952024-03-13T19:42:36.024+00:00Knitted Back TogetherKnitting. Crocheting. Sewing. Running. Family Life. Living on a budget. Healthy eating. Home management. Keeping the Black Dog at bay. Thinking positively. Trying my best.
The life of a middle aged woman, in a cottage by the sea, in England.Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.comBlogger167125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-1118003637158341062016-03-23T11:49:00.000+00:002016-03-23T11:49:09.702+00:00Recovery. Again.When I started this blog, 7 years ago (I think?) I was in the acute stages of a nervous breakdown and I wanted to find a way to process not only what was happening to me, but also my feelings about what was happening to me. A lot has happened since then. Depression. ME/CFS. Recovery. Another baby. Losing 100lb. Going back to work. Dual redundancy. Running a marathon. My husband's breakdown. Kidney failure. Starting our own business. Our eldest son going to university and leaving home. A total hysterectomy.<div>
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The more things change...</div>
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So I find myself, again, at the bottom of a mountain wondering how the hell I'm going to scale it again. Like 7 years ago, I am despairing a bit at what lies ahead.</div>
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Last year was a dreadful year in lots of ways for me, not least because I felt my health slipping away from me with every month that passed. When I stopped running, last August, I was marathon training and up to 18 miles. It took me several days in bed to recover from the exertion - and that was before the kidney failure. </div>
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One of the hardest things is that, when I was actively recovering, in 2013, I felt totally in control of my life and my body; I felt empowered. I felt that it was simply a case of me taking charge of myself. That was a good, if scary, feeling, because I could influence my life for the better. Hell, I could influence *the world* for the better. What I had to swallow last year was that, despite a Herculean effort on my part, everything was slipping away from me. Physical success is about more than sheer effort.</div>
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That, my friends, has been the hardest thing to swallow.</div>
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What has followed is months of "can't be arsed." Whilst my brain is telling my body to eat healthily, to go out and take a walk, or have a little run, a part of me thinks 'what is the point?' I can't control everything. I might fail. Does it really matter if I can run or not, or what my dress size is?</div>
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I've "can't be assed" with exercise, and food - especially whilst stuffing myself with chocolate and all sorts of culinary delights (read: junk food). Has it made me happy? No. Did running make me happy? Yes. Is it as easy as getting out there and running again? No. No. No. It hurts, and what's the point? I'm climbed that damned mountain before. And yes, the view from the top was amazing, but can I really be bothered to expend all that energy all over again? I won't be able to stay at the top forever. So am I doomed to this journey over and over and over?</div>
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Am I happy being a half ass? No. I am tired, I am jaded, I am frustrated. I feel claustrophobic. </div>
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Do I want to live the rest of my life as a half ass?</div>
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No.</div>
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No.</div>
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No.</div>
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So I flagellate wildly between a rock and a hard place. It's 16 weeks since my operation. 8 weeks since I stopped wearing a catheter. I'm still self-catheterising up to 8 times a day. My body is 3 stones fatter, and frankly, a foreign fucking land.</div>
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What do I do?</div>
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I'm going to have to haul my fat, lazy ass up that mountain again, but its about as attractive an idea as taking a pee on an electric fence.</div>
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How do I find the energy for this fight when I barely have the energy to get through the day?</div>
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How do I find the energy for this fight when I barely have the energy to get through the day?</div>
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How do I find the energy for this fight when I barely have the energy to get through the day?</div>
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Answers on a postcard.</div>
Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-53821215658443483722015-12-06T17:32:00.001+00:002015-12-06T18:31:25.513+00:00Claire's Ultimate Guide To Hysterectomy Survival<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, I am now 10 days post hysterectomy and I thought I would share some of the knowledge that I have picked up over the past year to other women who are going though the same thing.<br />
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When I was planning this blog post I thought about how I might explain what it feels like to have endometriosis and/or adenomyosis (I had both.) When I realised that the pain is so bad that you choose to have chemotherapy to make yourself feel better, I realised that it needed no further explanation.<br />
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2015 saw me have 9 shots of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leuprorelin" target="_blank">Prostap (Lupron)</a>, a GnRH analogue, which is a horrible injection used to treat prostate and breast cancer. I won't lie, it was hideous. The pain from endo is excruciating (mine was like advanced labour, and I did pass out on occasion.) Also, towards the end, I was bleeding heavily every day of the month without a break. Prostap <u>DID</u> stop all that, which is obviously good (and why I continued to take it). However, I just felt ill the whole time - I was moody, stressed, I had migraines, I had chronic pain - it was pretty bad. In addition, I needed a whole raft of medication to combat the side effects caused by the Prostap and they, themselves, came with side effects. I felt bloated and slow, I put on weight, my running - and life in general - slowed down massively. I am SO thankful that that stage of my life is now behind me.<br />
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Waiting for the hysterectomy was pretty hard. I felt strange <i>wanting</i> surgery, but I just wanted an end to both the original symptoms and those caused by the cure to the symptoms - and, indeed, those caused by the cure to the cure. I was officially put on the waiting list on July 7th 2015 (somewhat ironically 18 years exactly since I went into labour with my eldest chid) and I had my hysterectomy on November 25th 2015 - which was 20 weeks and 1 day later.<br />
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I had a Laparoscopically Assisted Vaginal Hysterectomy (LAVH) and bi-salpingo-oophorectomy (try saying that when you've had a drink!) which essentially means that I had my uterus, cervix, both fallopian tubes and both ovaries removed. They went in through my belly button, and put two probes in through the side of my abdomen, snipped the ligaments and pulled everything out vaginally.<br />
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I am now in full menopause and need HRT for at least the next 10 years and possibly more.<br />
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If you are facing something similar, this is my advice:<br />
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1) <u>Do the emotional work </u><br />
You are facing major, life changing surgery. Make sure you give yourself time to start the emotional work and make the mental adjustments you'll need to make. Obviously, once you have a hysterectomy you will no longer be able to have children. This wasn't a huge deal for me as I was lucky enough to know that my family was complete, but this isn't the case for all women. If you want more children, or even if you aren't sure either way, take special care of yourself and allow yourself the time you need to grieve. For it is a grief process, of sorts.<br />
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Even though I didn't want any more children, I had to come to terms with the fact that this was a major change of life stage for me. I had always imagined my future in terms of being a young, sexually active woman with a family. I hadn't really ever thought about what I might expect of my life <i>after</i> that stage. In not giving it any thought, I had kind of lined old age up after the baby stage, but in the blink of an eye I am suddenly here, at this stage of life, and I needed to think through what it means for me. I hope to continue to feel young and have a sex life. I hope to be fit and active for decades yet. However, one's self esteem can be very easily bound up in ideas of femininity and sexuality - especially in today's society - and the work of thinking through where you will fit in after your hysterectomy does take time. For me, reading, sitting with my feelings and talking it through with friends and my husband was enough to help me process everything. However, it might take a few sessions with a counsellor, so bear that in mind. Avoid this stage at your peril. You need to go into your hysterectomy with your emotional baggage as sorted as possible. I crocheted a blanket and found that I used a lot of this time to reflect upon what was to come.<br />
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2)<u> Get Knowledgeable</u><br />
I struggled to find many decent books on the topic of hysterectomy. Most of those I did find had an emphasis on homeopathy and alternative therapies that just aren't part of my world view. You may feel differently from me and, if you do, there are lots of resources like this available - Google away.<br />
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I read '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/101-Handy-Hints-Happy-Hysterectomy/dp/0992742927/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449400082&sr=8-1&keywords=hysterectomy" target="_blank">101 Hints for a Happy Hysterectomy</a>' which was OK. It wasn't rocket science, but it did provide some food for thought.<br />
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I liked the website "Hyster Sisters" (www.hystersisters.com) which had a huge resource of short articles which were very useful, especially when you have a particular question. However it is a US website and often the medical "what to expect from the system" information is very different from what we can expect in the UK. The forums really are excellent. I didn't post very much, but I read voraciously.<br />
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I joined several Facebook Groups and these really were where I learned most of what I knew. One note of caution: that vast majority of women in these groups are patients rather than medical professionals, so retain your critical eye. Make sure you check anything you're not sure about with your doctor or nurse. However, in terms of peer support, the Facebook groups are unrivalled. I used: Adenomyosis Support, Hysterectomy Sisterectomy, Early Menopause Support UK (I am 41, the average age of menopause in the UK is 52), Hysterectomy Support - A Caring Sisterhood, Adenomyosis and Hysterectomy Sisters UK.<br />
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Write down any questions you have and take them to your appointments with your gynaecologist.<br />
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3) <u>Get Prepared</u><br />
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This is the part I jumped right into and, in retrospect, it was the least important of them all. However, there are lots of ways you can make your life easier after the op, so why not take advantage?<br />
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I compiled a ***huge*** list of all the hints and tips I could find, then picked out which made most sense to me and my life at the time. I will share this list with you and urge you to be equally critical. Please don't feel as though you need to do everything on the list, I think that would not only be unnecessary but it would drive you mad.<br />
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Have a short and long stay hospital list. Pack an overnight bag and then put the rest of your supplies in a box or bag at home. I only stayed for 2 nights and didn't need a lot of the stuff I thought I would. If it's all together in one place at home, it's easier for someone to bring it in for you.<br />
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Things to pack for the hospital and the week afterwards -<br />
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- <b>3 x nighties</b><br />
(I didn't want anything with a waist band in case I had unexpected abdominal surgery. I was glad I did this - and felt most sensitive about 5 - 7 days post op. I went for long nighties for maximum coverage around strangers and their visitors, having visited my Mum in hospital a few months prior and seeing more of one middle aged lady than you should ever see...)<br />
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- <b>Lightweight dressing gown</b><br />
Hospital are hotter than the hinges of hell. I took satin, which was awful as it was sweaty. Cotton would be better. You will wear your dressing gown a lot, so choose carefully.<br />
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- <b>Slippers</b><br />
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- <b>Towel x 2 </b><br />
One for hair, one for body. I took a shower on day 2 but was very glad of a strip wash next to my bed on day 1. Have more on standby at home that a visitor can bring in, as there's nothing so lovely as a clean towel if you've gone to the effort to have a shower when you're unwell.<br />
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- <b>Front closing bras</b><br />
reaching around might be difficult if you have abdominal surgery. I went for non-wired which I actually found more uncomfortable (I normally wear underwired bras) as they soaked up sweat and kept my skin damp. Know what you like and are used to.<br />
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- <b>Big Knickers </b><br />
1 to 2 sizes bigger is a must. I bought big old apple catchers, but I didn't wear them much as I don't usually wear that style of pants. Again, this is the same advice as above - know what you usually find most comfortable and go with that. Don't blindly follow what other people - including me - say. Whilst we're on this topic, I felt kind of winded for a few days - the way I felt after pregnancy when my bump had gone. I have heard people suggest support pants (or Spandex) but this was anathema to me.<br />
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<b>- Bed socks</b><br />
I don't get cold feet often so didn't take any in, but they were in my "at home" pack. You know yourself best.<br />
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- <b>Crocs or flip flops</b><br />
for wearing in the shower. Other people's feet?! Bleurgh.<br />
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<b>- Sanitary Towels</b><br />
This was the item people on the ward tended to forget. You do bleed, but it's more like the blood you get when you have skinned your knee than a period. Decide for yourself whether you'd prefer tiny towels, or big ole' mattresses - I went for the soft, fluffy, cotton wool sort as I'd been advised when I had my babies that the Always gel sort can dry out stitches and your foof area in general. I did not regret my decision. DO NOT take tampons, everything will be much too sore.<br />
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<b>- Wash Bag</b><br />
Buy those miniature bottles that you get to go on holiday as you won't be able to lift lots of big bottles. I put too many into my wash bag (it was too heavy), so my advice would be to double up on products - just use shampoo for a couple of days, not shampoo and conditioner, and use shampoo to wash your body, for example. Or buy products you can use at your bed side - leave in conditioner, face cream and hand cream not kept in your wash bag, etc. I actually made a wash bag with a shoulder strap, and that was helpful.<br />
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<u>Things you might like to put in your wash bag</u> -<br />
(if you need them all, consider having a smaller bag to take to the bathroom and move products from the big bag to the small when you need them):<br />
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shampoo / conditioner / body wash / deodorant / face cream / hair brush / make up / hand cream / lip salve / hair bobbles / dry shampoo / waterless body wash and shampoo (I bought this on a recommendation and <i>hated</i> it, it has an awful really strong fruity smell. But, in principal, the idea is good). Anti bac gel, toothbrush (some people say an electric one is easier on tummy muscles, but I managed fine with a manual), toothpaste<br />
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I used the website www.gotiny.co.uk to buy miniature toiletries, but they also sell them for a good price in Wilkos.<br />
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- <b>IPad / Phone / Chargers (preload with films and audiobooks) </b>Audiobooks / podcasts were a godsend. I couldn't concentrate on a book and, TBH, I often drifted off with an audiobook on, so make sure it's something easy to follow. Please be aware that my hospital had no wifi, which rendered my iPad useless, and you weren't allowed to charge devices either. It made me realise how much comfort my phone brought me, by being in touch with my loved ones. If my items were PAT tested I would have been able to use them, so if you have access to PAT testing through work, it's something worth doing.<br />
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You also need non-electronic ways of entertaining yourself.<br />
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<b>- Headphones</b><br />
My <a href="http://www.sleepphones.co.uk/" target="_blank">Runphones</a> were perfect.<br />
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<b>- Eye Mask / Ear Plugs</b><br />
I can't recommend these highly enough. Helpful to help you sleep, escape from other people and I used mine when there was a distressing emergency on the ward. I couldn't help and I'd just be putting extra strain on the doctors and nurses if I got upset, so I took myself out of it.<br />
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- <b>Adult Colouring book and pens</b> - I did loads of this, it was the perfect activity.<br />
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- <b>Hard sweets</b> - for post anaesthetic, dry mouth. I took in Polos to double up the wind-reducing mint effect.<br />
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-<b> Squash</b> - if you don't always like water, squash is helpful. I didn't use mine much in hospital, but I did at home. Peppermint Cordial is ideal for hospital as it helps bring up wind (which caused as much pain as the actual surgery.) Mine was prescribed for twice a day. I was horrified, and brought my own in as I needed more. I was led to believe hospitals were very proactive when dealing with wind, but mine were not.<br />
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- <b>Flexible Straws</b> - to sip when you're not sitting up straight. Invaluable.<br />
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<b>- Small Fan</b> - I had my op in November and it was so stiflingly hot I felt awful. A hand held fan was a lovely luxury.<br />
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- <b>V Shaped pillow</b> - I cannot tell you what a treat it was to have pillow that smelled like home. I was surprised by how emotionally vulnerable I felt afterwards and this really helped.<br />
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<b>- Baby wipes </b>- Lovely for a cool down and an instant refresh. I didn't actually take these in and I regretted it.<br />
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-<b> Large Zip Lock Bags</b> - These are great for putting dirty laundry in. I'm always a bit suspicious about cleanliness in hospitals (although actually, Hull Royal was immaculate) so it was nice to keep dirty clothes very separate from clean ones. The zip lock really helped with this. I appreciate I may be a little OTT about this...<br />
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- <b>Tissues</b><br />
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- Any <b>medication</b> you need, in their original boxes (ask about this at your pre-op if you have any questions)<br />
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-<b> Snacks</b> - cereal bars, plain biscuits, grapes. I took these in because I was concerned about taking pain killers on an empty stomach. I ate very little when in hospital (which is not like me at all) but there were times when nibbling on a plain biscuit was helpful. I expected to feel like I did after giving birth, but breastfeeding obviously plays havoc with your metabolism because I did not feel hungry at all - I was always starving when I was breastfeeding.<br />
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- <b>Thermos Mug</b> - I did without this luxury and didn't miss it. I didn't really fancy tea or coffee much, either.<br />
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<b>- Chewing Gum</b> - apparently it helps with wind pain. I tried it, but was unconvinced.<br />
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<u>For home afterwards:</u><br />
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- <b>Maxi dresses</b> these were *invaluable* because I had a few days where I could not bear waist bands and my tummy was very swollen. I used summer dresses and layered them up for warmth.<br />
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-<b> Lounge pants</b>, 2 sizes bigger - Luxury. You can see me smiling from here, can't you? Now is not the time for style. Embrace the comfortable.<br />
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- <b>Peppermint tea</b> (helps gets rid of wind - they expand your abdomen with gas to do the op.) I think herbal tea tastes like pond water and my tastes didn't change post op, so I didn't use mine.<br />
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- <b>Stool Softeners</b> I got myself in a bit of a panic about stool softeners as everyone goes on about them SO MUCH. My first post-op poo was a bit scary, but I breathed deeply and went with the flow (as it were), secure in the knowledge that my body knew what it was doing - and it did. Pooing was nowhere near as painful as I thought it would be. My first poo was on day 2 - earlier than I expected. Don't be afraid to ask for Movicol or Lactulose on the ward if you feel you need it. Most people were given it to go home with.<br />
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And guess what I found? The most effective remedy was to make sure I got my 5 a day and drank lots of water. That worked way better than the stool softeners. In fact, that would be my top post-op tip - get your 5 a day and drink lots of water. Not exactly rocket science. Bran Flakes and nuts also helped.<br />
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- <b>Windeze</b> - I'm not sure if they helped, or they made me feel better because I was doing as much as I could to reduce wind, but it was worth it. They didn't do any harm.<br />
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- <b>Laxatives</b> - I didn't need them, but it was nice to have them in the house in case I did. Glycerin suppositories are good because they are effective but inert.<br />
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- <b>Small pillow</b> to hold against your abdomen when coughing / sneezing / to guard against small children. I just used a sofa scatter cushion. It worked.<br />
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<b>- Grabber</b> - one of those devices to pick things up off the floor. I did not get one and I did not miss it. I was more than capable of picking things up off the floor after a day or two. It might be different if you had an abdominal hysterectomy though.<br />
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- <b>Lightweight tray</b> for lap - I didn't use one, but I did find it hard to have the laptop on my lap for a few days, and that surprised me.<br />
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- <b>Bath Step</b> - to get in and out of the shower. I didn't use one, but we have one shower that is walk-in rather than over the bath, so I was grateful to use that. I think I would have appreciated a bath step in the early days if I didn't have this option.<br />
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- <b>Arrange bedside table before you go into hospital, so everything is at easy reach when you get home. </b>I didn't spend any time in bed, other than at night, so this wouldn't have been helpful to me.<br />
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- <b>Pedicure and manicure</b> before op. Entirely pointless as you have to take off all nail polish before the op. Glad I didn't get it done.<br />
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- <b>Hair cut</b> before op - I didn't do this and I would have been more comfortable if I had.<br />
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- <b>Bulk cook and fill freezer</b> - my husband is more than willing and able to cook for the family. However, if you don't have this option then bulk cooking is a great idea. Also make sure you have takeaway leaflets in, and don't beat yourself up if you use them. As long as everyone in the family, especially small children, are fed then it doesn't matter where the food comes from for a few days. My only caveat would be to be mindful that processed food doesn't contain a lot of fruit and veg and this may impact on how traumatic you find it to return to full bowel health.<br />
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- <b>Spring clean / decorate / DIY done</b> - WTF? Decorate and DIY? No. I didn't spring clean because I was working until 4.30am the two nights before I went into hospital to get my paid work done. It would have been nice to get the place tidier, but it was no big deal for me. Lots of women on the ward talked a lot about getting their ironing up to date, etc. If this is important to you, then getting it done beforehand will give you peace of mind.<br />
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- <b>Travel kettle</b> - I didn't bother and didn't need it.<br />
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- <b>Teddy bear</b> for small children to kiss when you're away - I didn't do this and the children didn't need it, but it's a nice idea.<br />
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Other things I read about, but are not my sort of thing. They may be yours though:<br />
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- Zinc supplements<br />
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- Calendula cream - scar healing<br />
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<b>4) Adjust your expectations</b><br />
Everyone told me that I would feel better from the moment I woke up. I went into hospital just before my op and both women on my ward said it was much easier than they imagined.<br />
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I actually found it harder than I expected, for the first couple of days at least. I had never had an operation before, or a general anaesthetic. I felt sick, suffocated and claustrophobic and my pain wasn't managed especially well because nobody took account of the vast amount of painkillers I was on before the op. However, this had the unexpected benefit of weaning my off the painkillers very quickly and, within a couple of days, I needed fewer pain killers than pre-op.<br />
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I felt as though I had cabin favour for the first week or so. It is all getting better - and physically I am OK now, just quite tired. I guess my advice would be to expect the unexpected.<br />
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5) <b>What worked best for me?</b><br />
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If I had to sum up the things that worked best for me, this is what I'd say:<br />
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- Use normal knickers and bra. Go with what you are used to. Now is not the time to make changes.<br />
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- Get up and about as soon as possible and as often as possible. Potter about. Have a little wander round every hour without fail; more if possible. I walked circuits of the ward and have done the same regularly since coming home. Within 5 days I was outside walking up to 1km at a time. It made me tired, but I felt SO MUCH better with a bit of fresh air.<br />
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- listen to your body - rest when it wants, and take care when lifting. I could do more than I imagined though.<br />
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- Don't be afraid to fart. Don't cringe! We're grown women, we can talk about trumping. The wind can be more painful than the surgery, so don't be polite post-op. The only way shyness is good is if it encourages you to walk to the bathroom to parp - walking is very good for you. If you worry about wind, sit on the toilet to trump. Your body goes into autopilot, and you really do need to get rid of that stuff. No-one else will tell you this stuff. You're welcome.<br />
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- Expect to cry. I asked the nurse if it was normal, then witnessed all the other women being surprised when they had a little weep. It's the anaesthetic / hormones.<br />
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- There were two worst bits for me - getting out of bed for the first time and having the vaginal pack removed. Once I was out of bed, standing up and walking around were much, much easier than getting up that first time. As for the vaginal pack - imagine the magician's hanky trick, and you kind of get the picture. There was a lot of it and it hurt like hell when it was coming out. But once it was out I felt so much better.<br />
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- I was sent home with Fragmin injections to self administer, to prevent DVT. They weren't hard to do, but be prepared for it. I also had to wear compression stockings whilst on the ward, but thankfully was able to take them off when I came home. I used running compression socks for a couple of days and they were much more comfy as one toe doesn't poke out (does this happen to anyone else with compression stockings?! It drives me mad.)<br />
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- Green smoothies, fresh soup cooked from frozen veg - make lots and enjoy. It will do your innards no end of good and is the easiest way to get your 5 a day.<br />
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- Water, water, water. Think how good your skin will be if you keep this up! Water fills you up, cleans you out and makes you walk to the bathroom. ALL GOOD.<br />
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- I was rather surprised to have insomnia for a few days post-op. It did pass without any intervention but don't be surprised if this happens. Again, it's something to do with the anaesthetic, apparently.<br />
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- Make sure you have enough pain relief at home. A tip one of the nurses gave me was to make up peppermint cordial with warm water and dissolve paracetamol in it. It was magical. I am now a total convert to soluble paracetamol.<br />
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- If you have small children, like I do, then you will need support with them. I got stuck on the way home from the ward. My husband went to fetch the car so I didn't have to walk too far, and my 3 year old daughter had one of those "if I don't go to the toilet now I'm going to do it on the floor" moments. I had no choice - I had to lift her onto the toilet. Not advisable then, and it's something I avoid now. Use every contact you can to get people to help you out by minding the children, even if it's only for an hour whilst you get some sleep. Pay for childcare. You will need it.<br />
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I think that is everything in this mammoth post. I hope you do well - I am 11 days post op and already I feel so much better than before in so many ways. I'm most excited about embracing the next stage of my life.<br />
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If you are post-op, please post your top tips in the comments below, so we can provide a resource for women earlier in their journey.<br />
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Love - and very best wishes<br />
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Claire x<br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8103021577378959995" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8103021577378959995" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8103021577378959995" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8103021577378959995" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-55030242521870513582015-11-29T21:03:00.001+00:002015-11-29T21:03:41.468+00:00Health Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZtffxcpDRws53lYCE5Lb8J22-45p0mx9HsaFzHnhMn_HrmYQk_rXaPxyyP0sBu7tZ8ZlN0sBmsza7Gdlvjcwa_DzsXgRVFuT_X6FZLY_11h3ntdu_sx_CE0DoxZ2wZBEPOxAEVhaY6JbU/s1600/12310531_1276566249027149_4933708959178493275_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZtffxcpDRws53lYCE5Lb8J22-45p0mx9HsaFzHnhMn_HrmYQk_rXaPxyyP0sBu7tZ8ZlN0sBmsza7Gdlvjcwa_DzsXgRVFuT_X6FZLY_11h3ntdu_sx_CE0DoxZ2wZBEPOxAEVhaY6JbU/s320/12310531_1276566249027149_4933708959178493275_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Hello dear reader, I hope you are well.</div>
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So, I had my hysterectomy four days ago, and I thought I would update on my recent health issues.</div>
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The hysterectomy went really well. The op was straightforward, there was a lot of endometriosis, but it was old (shrunk by the Prostap) and had not ventured from my womb. Hoorah! My bladder, which has been the cause of much mischief, was free of endo, which is excellent news. That means that it hasn't spread much at all; hopefully it has gone and will not self-perpetuate (endometriosis is womb lining tissue which escapes and buries itself into other muscles and organs and swells and bleeds each month, and can be found as far away from the womb as the lungs or back of the eye. It can self-replicate once it has escaped from the womb. This means a hysterectomy is not always an effective treatment. However, in my case, I seem to have escaped lightly.)</div>
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I was given a trial without catheter on the ward (TWOC) the day after my surgery. Last time I had one of these, about 8 weeks ago, I could not ring out a single drop. I squeezed, pushed, shook, danced, stood up, walked around - nothing. This time, the good news was that I could pee each and every time I needed to. HOORAH! </div>
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However, it became evident that I did not have the normal sensation that I needed to pee - I just felt crampy pain and a vague anxious / panicky feeling. I had my bladder scanned after voiding and it was discovered there was still 300ml retained in my bladder - so I evidently wasn't able to accurately feel if I had emptied properly either.</div>
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This could not go unchecked. Retaining urine puts pressure on the kidneys. Only one of my kidneys works, and the other functions at 70% (probably caused by chronic retention) so I need to be very careful with that remaining function. I do NOT want to end up on dialysis because that is a one way ticket to transplant - if you are lucky. I need to ensure that my bladder is properly drained at all times.</div>
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On this note, it was interesting to see I pass about twice as much pee as all the other ward inhabitants. This is not necessarily a good sign (it can mean that your kidneys are on their way out) but it might only mean that I am drinking more than other people. Hard to call. Interesting comparison you don't get elsewhere though.</div>
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I agreed to trial <a href="http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Urinary-catheterization/Pages/How-is-it-performed.aspx" target="_blank">Clean Intermittent Self Catheterisation</a> - which is a fancy way of saying you do a wee, then put a medically packaged McDonald's straw up your urethra four times a day. I tried, and was successful at first. However, it was really painful - unsurprisingly, as I'd had surgery the day before. Eventually the panicky feeling increased and the amount I passed decreased and I was left as dry as the Sahara. So that was a bit of a fail.</div>
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I was finally discharged with what I went in with: an indwelling urethral Foley catheter. It's not that bad though, it's an inconvenience more than anything. People live with much worse. I am quite used to it now and, handing control of my catheter over to the nurses after my surgery, I realised quite how skilful I had become in knowing without looking when it needs changing, how to position it for maximum comfort, etc. </div>
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I don't know what the future holds. I will have an appointment with the Urologist at Castle Hill again in a few weeks once I have recovered physically from surgery. I am guessing they will want to do another TWOC and possibly another Urodynamics test (possibly the least dignified thing I have ever endured: tubes are placed in your bladder and up your bum. You are then sat on a toilet seat with a jug underneath whilst a nurse makes small talk, and simultaneously fills your bladder and bum with cold water until bursting point. If I live to be 100 I would be happy not to have to endure that again...)</div>
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There has been talk of an MRI. From the reading I have done, it could still be "one of those things" right down to MS (nerve damage). I have no malignancy, and now I have no endometriosis or prolapses, so those are 3 big causes ruled out.</div>
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I'll be honest: it frightens me. I want to get my life back and I want to get back to running. It's hard to see how that is possible with a catheter. Also, the idea of MS is just terrifying. I have to believe that if that were the case I would make the very best of the hand that is dealt to me, but I pray that it's something straightforward. I believe it's uncommon for women to go into total urinary retention, especially younger women. The prime causes are childbirth damage (not applicable to me) or a condition called Fowlers, where one of the urinary sphincters doesn't open properly. I don't believe I have this issue either, as my entire bladder is atonic, and my sphincters seemed fine (and that, my friend, is a phrase I thought I would never write... )</div>
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However, let's look at the positives. 8 weeks ago my bladder could do nothing. Now it can pee. Whistling - genuinely - helps. I picked up this tip from a fellow patient on the ward; apparently her Mum was taught to blow down a straw and this helped her train her bladder.</div>
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If you imagine a balloon that has been blown up and then deflated, it goes all wrinkly and can't hold it's prior shape. It's very possible that when I had the episode of acute retention in September this is what happened. They drained 2.5 litres from my bladder in one go - that's a big and a small bottle of Coke. It's possible that my bladder just got over stretched and the catheter is just giving it a little holiday whilst the muscle recovers it's tone. That is the explanation that I am thinking is most likely, right now.</div>
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Right - now I have filled you in on the medical gossip, I will sign off and eat my dinner. I am feeling loads better than expected after the surgery. I am a bit achy and sore, but that is to be expected, and a bit cabin feverish and grumpy because I am a terrible patient. I have just taken advantage of Craftsy's Black Friday offer and signed up for 7 online craft courses; that should while away the hours of my sick leave and allow me to do something useful with my brain. I had *one* day of daytime television today and it brought on the Grumpy Old Claire show. I promised myself I would do something more productive with my time.</div>
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Love </div>
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Claire x </div>
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Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-37541615299012619202015-11-04T18:49:00.000+00:002015-11-04T18:49:27.194+00:00Big News<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtPr8gJsYJF6XBKNieXrOwMwxA9jDBD-OK_axRgCCxqzIncGHUU-p3KCJZcMmI8rfWscGqHYE06HgyjYqVXZkgNFCT5KaTB7YZ1XiJRKtUf367QM_zM9y7lE39PhUQJGAjOb4lFgmNDT1/s1600/Big-News1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtPr8gJsYJF6XBKNieXrOwMwxA9jDBD-OK_axRgCCxqzIncGHUU-p3KCJZcMmI8rfWscGqHYE06HgyjYqVXZkgNFCT5KaTB7YZ1XiJRKtUf367QM_zM9y7lE39PhUQJGAjOb4lFgmNDT1/s1600/Big-News1.gif" /></a></div>
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Now, depending whether you have read this blog forwards or backwards, you will have an entirely different take on whether this news is positive or negative, lol. Firstly, no, I am not pregnant. Secondly, no, it's not bad news either. Hoorah.<br />
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There are, in fact, 2 pieces of big news. The first big news relates to Mrs Bee's Emporium.<br />
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Here is a potted history for anyone who has popped over from my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/mrsbeesemporium if you want to pop the other way!)<br />
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<u>History</u><br />
<blockquote style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;" type="cite">
Dom and I were both made redundant from our jobs as teachers about a year ago. It's been a bit of a stressful year with that and a few other things (my Dad being diagnosed with Dementia, my Mum having a knee replacement and needing me to be their carer - etc etc.) To be honest, both Dom and I struggled with our place in the world after, we both struggled a bit with anxiety and depression too, as the school takeover thing had literally happened overnight. We're loads better now, but spent quite a while wondering what we'd do next (and, if I'm entirely honest, with a bit of "why us?" thrown in too.)<br /><br />A few years ago I had made a little extra on the side knitting and sewing, so I decided to go back to that as its something I genuinely love. I trained to make bridal and prom dresses and I was genuinely blessed by an amazing reaction, and for that I will be eternally grateful. It really was a bit of sunshine in our lives.<br /><br />In order to get Dom out of the doldrums, I started asking him to help me out with jobs (other than the childcare!) and he started to get his old confidence back. We eventually decided that he would come into the business too and we'd start a new range that he would manage -- still lovely, stylish, bespoke gift wear, but things that we could make using a professional embroidery machine. I would still continue to handmake the luxury, bespoke range. This seemed like a plan so he went on some business courses, and then put the work into setting up a Limited Company and sourcing all the materials we'd need. We decided we couldn't sit around and wait for life to happen to us, so we'd invest most of the rest of our savings into setting up this new venture.<br /><br />I had a manageable customer list too, and was able to close my list for Christmas early, with your order included. Everything looked like it might be getting better.<br /><br />Then I got sick.</blockquote>
<u>The First Piece of Big News:</u><br />
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We have launched the second arm of the business! Whilst I am recovering and pottering around the studio, Dom has been working his socks off setting us up as a Limited Company. Last Friday our ***awesome*** embroidery machine arrived and we have been playing ever since. Here is a taste of what is to come:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFb14b979-XtAu_fisIRaWxKk6nOeX5sSyI-xh2ujXYKdrLvv4m2F8A_faLmbb8GMcEP99DIBwc7yM1MFIJ7AOJh0NWAbsGqtSGpqROqqWQLCD0XC_9PS849NsSRwnzjOUWqW11c2SUb3e/s1600/12193647_10206265453927539_2620242080572367576_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFb14b979-XtAu_fisIRaWxKk6nOeX5sSyI-xh2ujXYKdrLvv4m2F8A_faLmbb8GMcEP99DIBwc7yM1MFIJ7AOJh0NWAbsGqtSGpqROqqWQLCD0XC_9PS849NsSRwnzjOUWqW11c2SUb3e/s320/12193647_10206265453927539_2620242080572367576_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We will be producing a line of gorgeously machine embroidered, personalised t shirts, bags, aprons, tea towels and soft toys. We will sell them online and at local craft markets around the Hull and East Yorkshire area.</div>
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I am so, so proud of Dom. He really has shown huge strength of character over the past few weeks whilst supporting me through my ill health, running the home, dealing with the children and still putting together this new venture.</div>
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It's a bit scary, I will admit. We decided that we could not wait around for life to happen to us, so we invested pretty much all the money we had left in the world and decided we'd give it all we'd got. I don't know if it will work, but I do know that Dom and I work together well, and our skills compliment each other, so it was worth a punt. We don't want to run a multi million pound enterprise, we want to run a business that gives us a decent work/life balance, that enables us to give our children the time they deserve and that gives us the luxury of being able to use our creativity each day. As long as we can pay the bills, I would be very, very happy with that. Fingers crossed.</div>
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Last night I went to bed having (yet another) moment of hyperventilation. I came across a quote that seemed apt, and I want to share it here:</div>
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<i><b>"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed </b></i></div>
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<i><b>by the things you didn't do </b></i><i><b>than the things you did do. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>So throw off the bowlines. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Sail away from the safe harbour. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Catch the trade winds in your sails. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Explore. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Dream. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Discover."</b></i></div>
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<i>Mark Twain</i></div>
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Dom is currently preparing all our stock, ready to be photographed at the end of the week. I will share the lines with you as we get ourselves more into gear. We will be selling through our Facebook Page, Etsy, Folksy and Dom will be attending some local Christmas Fayres. Please get in touch if you'd like an original Christmas present for someone special.</div>
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<u>The Second Piece of Big News</u></div>
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I am having my hysterectomy on the 25th November! That is only a couple of weeks away! Eep!</div>
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So, in some ways, it probably has come at a pretty bad time. That said, I have felt so unwell for the majority of 2015, and I will be so glad to recover. I know that recovering from major abdominal surgery (in which I am losing 6, possibly 7 organs) is going to be a pretty big deal. But it does mean I can stop the chemo, which means I can lose the side effects, which means I can lose the medication that controls the side effects - and so on. I am praying that the endo hasn't spread too widely (once it has left the uterus and spread into the abdominal cavity it can self perpetuate, even without a uterus. So the more contained it is, the less likely I will need continuing surgery.)</div>
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I did not get a diagnosis last week after my cystoscopy. My bladder was extremely angry looking - it looked like it had measles and many, many of the lesions were red raw and bleeding. That would explain why I was peeing blood! But, again, at least it is not cancer. Hooray.</div>
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The Consultant wanted me to keep the catheter until I have recovered from the surgery, so the party bag and I will have at least another 3 months together. I do not know if my bladder will wake up once there is more room in my pelvis -- I very much hope so. I think my right kidney is permanently damaged now, sadly. It's very much a "wait and see" diagnosis.</div>
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That said, I have been feeling very much more positive about it since I knew it wasn't anything too awful (I was very much afraid of the "big C.") Kidney failure is nothing to be sniffed at, but I am on the other side of it now, and very soon I will be waving goodbye to at least some of the medical regime that has dominated my life for the past few months. It's OK, really. </div>
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And that was my second piece of big news. I am feeling very positive, on the whole. I am very sad that I have had to take a big break from my work, having worked so hard to get momentum going. However, there is nothing I can do, so I am trying to go with the flow and not stress. I am so proud of my husband, though. He really has been the kindest, gentlest, most loving man and I could not have got through the last few weeks without him. I hope, with all my heart, that his new venture is a massive success.</div>
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Much love,</div>
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Claire x</div>
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<br />Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-29141449291081227812015-10-27T10:59:00.001+00:002015-10-27T10:59:19.719+00:00A Journey of A Thousand Steps<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The problem with a journey of a thousand steps is that you have to decide when to start telling your tale. Start too soon, and you don't know you're on a journey at all. It's just Every Day Life. Leave it too long and you miss the nuances, the details and the things that make it charming and tragic. You risk minimising the experience, and then feel the burning shame of regret for ever letting it have bothered you. Yeah, I had depression. Yeah, I know millions do too. Yeah, it took me a good couple of years to recover from that having happened to me (OHMYGOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!)<br />
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This year I used my blog as a platform to challenge the Hull Marathon about their inclusivity stance. It got a lot of coverage and interest, although not a lot of movement from Hull Marathon, sadly. Little did I know, as I was using my blog to make my points, fate was laughing at my expense. I wish I believed in Voodoo or Hexes; it would make this easier.<br />
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I stopped training for the marathon mid August. I was too unwell. I had run several long, long runs (16, 18 miles) having had to spend most of the day in bed in preparation for the effort, and then needing to take several days to recover. There is a balance point and, even though I hated myself for it, I realised that it was all pain and no reward. It took me the best part of a month to admit to myself that I had given up.<br />
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The night before the marathon I had such severe pelvic pain I was admitted to A&E. They, like I, assumed it was my gynaecological issues (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adenomyosis" target="_blank">adenomyosis</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis" target="_blank">endometriosis</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovarian_cyst" target="_blank">ovarian cysts</a>). I was sent away with Tramodol and an appointment for the emergency gynae clinic.<br />
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That night I went to bed, the same as every night for the last 41 years.<br />
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I have never peed again.<br />
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I have had two months of hospital admissions, A&E, inpatients, invasive and degrading tests, pain and catheters. Two months of feeling dreadfully unwell. Two months of being entirely absorbed by my bodily excretions. Who knew you could become so knowledgable about piss?<br />
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It has been a profound shock to cease to be unable to perform a bodily function that is necessary for life. If I had lived a hundred years ago, I would be dead now. That is a very strange and uncomfortable thought.<br />
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I've not blogged because I don't have a diagnosis yet. The gynae stuff is still there. I am still taking Prostap (a chemo injection that is used in cases of Prostate cancer, that also seems to help endometriosis sufferers) and still experiencing all the side effects that that generally causes. It's horrible. I have not felt well since starting this regime. Now I have the urological stuff happening too. So far, my kidneys have proven to be pretty much fucked (one is shrivelled and does very little - "atrophic" being the proper medical terminology and the other, good kidney has substantial scarring and cysts.) My bladder is fucked - the muscles have given up. They don't do a darned thing. That's atrophic too. I feel for that good kidney, scarred as it is, dragging along its atrophic twin and sibling. That good kidney, with all its battle scars and lumps and bumps, is what keeps me between life and death.<br />
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That is a very strange, very uncomfortable feeling.<br />
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Tomorrow I am having a cystoscopy with the Consultant - he basically shoves a camera up your pee hole and has a nose around. I am at once horrified and curious. Its not so much the dropping your knickers to anyone who asks (and, believe me, I am entirely brazen about this now) but the feeling of being invaded by someone you don't know. Ugh. The one thing that I am anxious about with the hysterectomy I am due next month is the idea of someone accessing my vagina whilst I am unconscious. I *know* its surgery and I *know* they're professionals. This comes from a deeper place and the very thought of it makes my blood run cold.<br />
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That said, I have been peeing blood for two days and pretty much unable to sit down. I want to look my enemy in the eye, so to speak. I don't know if mine has eyes. It has horns, I am pretty sure. I am very curious to see this bladder that has caused me so much trouble of late.<br />
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The diagnoses range from "it'll get better on its own" to a gynae prolapse, to cancer and MS. It is very hard to get your head around the difference in severity. I am trying not to think too much about it, which is pretty much impossible. I have already told my husband that he does not have to stay with me if I have some awful, disabling, lifelong illness. At 3am it didn't feel like I was in the throes of melodrama, although I am embarrassed to commit it to paper now.<br />
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I started this blog post in the hope it'd be light and witty and amusing. However, within a couple of hundred words, I am staring humourlessly at the truth I have been trying hard to avoid (except when it's 3am, natch.)<br />
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Fuck.<br />
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<br />Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-51076014002534494262015-09-12T11:57:00.000+01:002015-09-12T11:57:06.354+01:00Elephants and Rooms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been fretting about writing this post for far too long. My blog has been a place I have recorded my achievements, my sadnesses and my stories. It has evolved as I have. I started this blog when I was in a very dark place with depression and I needed a safe place to explore my feelings. It didn't matter to me that other people could read them - and as time has gone on it still doesn't matter, as I know from the emails that I get that people read my words and are comforted by them. It's a privilege to be able to do that.<br />
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Over the past 6 years lots has changed. I have been in good places and GREAT places. If this had been a happy ever after story, then my blog would have ended there. However, 2015 has been an especially tough year and I have not really wanted to talk about it. I have not been depressed, but I have been anxious as hell. Its been stressful because its been a stressful set of circumstances so I have not needed to talk about it.<br />
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However, hard as I try to look for the positives in a bid to start forward momentum (and some days there are much more light than shade) I don't feel as though I can blog honestly without mentioning the elephant in the room. I don't think I have much to say on the matter (although the next 15 minutes might surprise even me!) so I have decided to list everything that has happened as a bullet point list. You can then make up your own minds, and I can move forward with trying to be optimistic as that's my thing, without feeling insincere or foolish.<br />
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So...<br />
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1) I lost the job I loved. You might say I was bullied out of it my a new regime in a hostile takeover, but that's pretty controversial. I loved my job and I loved the people I helped. I was exhausted and I grieved for what I lost. I tried anti-depressants but they made me worse and decided to try to go without. I am still without. Never sure whether this was the right decision, to be honest.<br />
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2) My husband was made redundant. Neither of us had a job and we still had 3 children.<br />
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3) My husband had a breakdown. His career was so key to his identity that this was a blow he couldn't get past without huge emotional trauma.<br />
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4) The people who did the redundancies chose to do so in the most spiteful, personal way I have ever known. I shall not make further comment about this again in my blog because it's not my story to tell, but even the Union representative said they had never experienced anything like it. Why show humanity when you can twist the knife? This comes from my observation of what happened, by the way, not my husband. Obviously it made point 3 much worse and watching someone you love suffer is really, really shitty.<br />
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5) My reaction to all this was an OCD flair, according to my doctor. It has now gone, I think, thankfully.<br />
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5) My Dad was diagnosed with 2 types of dementia and needed a lot of care and support. He has several other ongoing health issues - COPD and cataracts to name but two and has needed 3 surgeries to date. I have helped my parents deal with every health professional we can think of who might be able to help. They are all desperately under-funded and there is little that can be done for Dad. It's all fire-fighting, last minute, long, ineffective, hugely time consuming and stressful for everyone -- but especially for my Dad. His defence mechanism is to fall asleep whilst someone is talking to him, so I pretty much have to go everywhere with him.<br />
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6) My Mum - Dad's main carer - had a total knee replacement and was off her feet for a good 2 months, during which time I needed to visit daily - sometimes more often - and care for them both, do their shopping, cook their meals and so on.<br />
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7) My brother left his wife and came to live with us for 2 months<br />
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8) My son had several visits to choose a university and eventually chose Leeds. He took his A levels (stressful time for everyone) but passed with flying colours and is about to start a degree in Medical Science. I am so proud of him that my heart bursts, but this process has taken quite a lot more emotional work than I expected, especially as I have been preparing him to live alone. He moves out in 8 days. I expecting to feel very sad.<br />
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9) Colleagues and friends: 2 have had heart attacks, one lovely man in his 50s died. One ended her life by jumping off the Humber bridge. One was diagnosed, then died, of motor neurone disease. One was murdered.<br />
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10) I have had significant health problems. I have been diagnosed with adenomyosis, endometriosis, a hormone disorder and ovarian cysts. I have two types of pain; chronic and acute. Living with pain is exhausting both emotionally and physically. I am on many types of medication - the main being Prostap, a type of chemotherapy for prostate cancer. It gives me migraines, makes me incredibly moody, stressed and tearful. As well as the vast array of painkillers (paracetamol, ibuprofen, mefanamic acid, tranexamic acid, naproxen, cocodamol, tramadol) I also take medication to combat the side effects of the Prostate - beta blockers (they slow down your heart rate, which makes running near impossible), sleeping tablets, HRT, ranitidine and omeprazole.) It's just URGH. I spend most of my days in pain, exhausted, slow, numbed, stressed and moody.<br />
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IT WILL GO AWAY ONCE I HAVE MY SURGERY :)<br />
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Hooray for that day. I have been on the waiting list for 10 weeks. The wait is approximately 12-16 weeks. I need a radical hysterectomy where they will remove 7 organs, but<i> bring it on</i>.<br />
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11) My darling daughter has not slept for more than a couple of hours at a time for the last six months. Yes, I know this is pretty normal for 2 and 3 year olds but, with everything else that is happening, it is killing me. Sleep deprivation is a method of torture.<br />
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12) As a result of the above two points I have had to stop running :( :( I am very, very sad about this. I got up to 18 miles in my training but the pain and the exhaustion meant I was running ever slower and literally crying through my runs. I had a moment when, after a particularly awful spell, I couldn't even do 5k. I sobbed all the way home and most of that night. I decided I needed to give myself a break. The problem with marathon training is that it exhausts you for the rest of the week, and I just did not have that energy to give, or the ability to shelve any of my responsibilities.<br />
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I have withdrawn from the Hull Marathon (which is tomorrow) and the Yorkshire Marathon. I have not run since that awful day above. I feel sick with the idea of even attending. I cannot run because I am afraid of failing, and I just don't have the emotional resources to fail right now.<br />
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I do have a plan though. I am going to go for a walk each day, and then I am going to do Couch 2 5K again. It may well be after my op, a couple of months into my recovery. I am not going to give up on this, but I have to give myself the gift of "not now" and fight the demons that I have given up because I am weak. That's harder than I imagined it would be.<br />
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13) We have started our own business. This is a bittersweet thing. 10 months of job applications have not proved especially fruitful, so Dom and I decided we needed to grab life by the balls. I LOVE it. It is going well but, like any new business, demands all hours of your day. This is harder when your attention span is rubbish, but I am trying my best.<br />
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I think that is everything for now. Next week Florrie starts school and Jonny leaves home. That is going to be a big week too. Dom is running the marathon, and I have to fight my demons on that one, but I will hoik up my big girl pants and be brave.<br />
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2016 will be awesome. If I have been absent, aloof, moody, grumpy or generally annoying, please accept my heartfelt apologies. Thank you for understanding.<br />
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Now I have explained all of this, I can go back to blogging positively with my eyes very much on the future.<br />
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Much love<br />
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Claire x<br />
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PS I shall not be letting the Hull Marathon off the hook next year! :D<br />
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PPS I have many, many wonderful blessings: friends, family, cheerleaders and so on. I am - and always will be - incredibly grateful for them. I don't want this to read as a "poor me" post, but I needed to let you know what had been going on in order to move forward authentically.Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-65459500772149581522015-08-31T22:31:00.003+01:002015-08-31T22:34:36.360+01:00Runner Of The MonthWell hello, world. Hope you are all OK and rocking the last few days of summer.<br />
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It's been a busy summer here - I have been head down in fabric, needle and cotton for most of it and have made a lot of lovely tents, teepees and princess dresses which has been an absolute pleasure. More details about my sewing activities are here: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/mrsbeesemporium">www.facebook.com/mrsbeesemporium</a>. Do come and join us.<br />
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There has been a lot going on family wise recently. This summer my Mum has had her knee replaced and my Dad, very sadly, has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers. I have been spending as much time as possible with them helping them out. They've both come a long way and are learning to make lemonade with their new lives.<br />
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Jonathan, my eldest son, both fell in love and aced his A levels. He ended up with 3 grade As and a B. He's off to Leeds Uni soon to study Medical Science. I could not be prouder of him. We're off to Ikea tomorrow to fill the car up with mugs, chopping boards, meatballs, pans and the various other accoutrements that students need.<br />
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I FEEL OLD.<br />
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As for me, it was a delight and a privilege to be voted "Fat Runner of the Month" on the "Fat Girl's Guide To Running."<br />
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You can follow this link and hear me put the world to rights :) I would be very happy to hear your thoughts on some of the issues raised too.<br />
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Speak soon<br />
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Claire x<br />
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<a href="http://toofattorun.co.uk/runner-of-the-month-claire-boynton/">http://toofattorun.co.uk/runner-of-the-month-claire-boynton/</a><br />
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AUGUST 28, 2015 </h6>
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So in the second of our Runner of the Month features sponsored by protein drink <a href="http://theproteindrinksco.co.uk/product/ufit/" style="color: #f18216; text-decoration: none;">UFit </a>I would like to introduce you to 41 year old East Yorkshire lass Claire Boynton…who recently caused a bit of a media storm in relation to the Hull Marathon and their unadvertised cut off time of 6 hours (You can read her open letter to them <a href="http://knittedbacktogether.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/dear-hull-marathon-aka-this-girl-cant.html" style="color: #f18216; text-decoration: none;">here</a>, we like a bit of controversy around these here parts)</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Where do you live? </strong></div>
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I live in a cottage in East Yorkshire, right on Sunk Island – a huge area of farmland reclaimed from the sea. It’s pretty, and it’s flat – ideal for running.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">When did you start running and why? </strong></div>
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I started running on 8<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 10px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">th</span> January 2013. I started couch 2 5K. I had been curious about my friends who enjoyed running for some time, and rather fancied the simplicity of it. I have always hated exercise, partly because everything I had done since leaving school was dance / aerobics based and I’m laughably un-coordinated.</div>
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I wanted to lose weight (I am currently a size 16) because I had been through a string of health problems (anxiety and depression leading to a full breakdown; ME/CFS; gall stones; gestational diabetes; a scan that discovered I only had one working kidney.) I realized that, if I wanted any quality of life, I needed to change my habits. That said, I had absolutely no confidence that I would succeed with running. The idea was preposterous. So I started running in secret.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Did you run a lot when you were younger?</strong></div>
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No. I was always the last to be picked at school, almost last in cross country. At the age of 12 I realized it was cooler to not try than to try and fail, so sport stopped being something I participated in.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What do you love and hate about the sport of running?</strong></div>
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<em style="border: 0px; color: #848484; font-family: Cabin; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://toofattorun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/15-1.jpg" style="color: #f18216; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; line-height: 20px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="15 - 1" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-12860" height="300" src="http://toofattorun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/15-1-300x300.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: right; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="300" /></a>Love</em> – there is so much to love! I love the sense of freedom when you are out in the countryside, watching nature. My mind settles into a calm rhythm. Sometimes my mind is active and I have a good think, sometimes my mind is just blank. I love setting and meeting goals, and learning new things about myself. I love the feel of my developing muscles under my skin, where once there was only soft flesh. I love the people running has brought into my life, and the nurturing support they give. I love how I feel after I’ve run, especially when I’ve had a shower and I’m wearing compression socks. My friend calls it ‘smagony’ – smug agony. She’s not wrong.</div>
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Mostly, however, I love that I have been able to make myself succeed in sport – I always believed it was not for me. If I can do that, what else is possible?</div>
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Hate – finding the right running shoes. I have really wide feet and still haven’t got this cracked. Sometimes I can end up with 14 blisters. I also have Morton’s Neuroma on my left foot and Plantar Fasciitis on the right – ouch.</div>
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I get terrible nerves before long runs when I’m marathon training. They say the battle is mostly psychological, and this rings true for me. It’s hard to put your all into something when you know that, most likely, you’ll come last. It’s even harder when you know some people think you shouldn’t even be there. I do it because, if I don’t, who will? Us slower runners need to participate in order to normalize plus sized running. Sometimes you just have to wear your big girl pants and face it out directly.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How often do you run? What kind of distances do you run in training?</strong></div>
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I try to run three times a week – 5k at Parkrun, 5k at my running club and a long slow run – I’m currently up to 18 miles and will peak at 20. I run at the Hull East Park parkrun and I love my parkrun family – there are around 500 runners. I love to see the faces of dog walkers who don’t know about parkrun when 500 fluorescent, lycra-clad runners stream by<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">.</strong></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Have you taken part in any races? </strong></div>
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Yes, my husband and I do lots of racing. This year we have bought the season ticket to the Jane Tomlinson series – 4 x 10ks, 2 x half marathons and 1 x full marathon. We’re also running the Hull Marathon on 13<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 10px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">th</span> September.</div>
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My first race was the Jane Tomlinson Hull 10K in May 2013 – I was terrified. I started sprinting when I saw the 800m to the finish sign, as I was delighted that I was close to the end. I had no idea that 800m is twice around an athletics track! I hadn’t walked for the entire race and was <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">determined</strong> that I wouldn’t start walking when the finish line was in sight. I nearly collapsed over the line! I’ve never made that mistake again.</div>
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My first Marathon was the Yorkshire Marathon in October 2014. Again, I was sick with nerves when I started, and I doubted that I could finish. I did finish – in 6hrs 50 mins – and was on such a natural high it lasted for a week! I’ve never experienced anything more emotional in my life. My marathon story is <a href="http://www.knittedbacktogether.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/decided-to-go-for-little-run.html" style="color: #f18216; text-decoration: none;">here</a> <em style="border: 0px; color: #848484; font-family: Cabin; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(its a great read)</strong></em></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Have you had any negative experiences whilst out running?</strong></div>
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Very few. I once took place in a 10K race held by a local running club. I finished last. They posted a video on YouTube, and the two marshalls were moaning to each other about having to wait for me. I felt so humiliated.</div>
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A teenage boy, flanked by two smirking teenage girls, once shouted, sarcastically “ooh, you’re a good runner!” I did the mature thing, and responded with “yeah? And you have a tiny penis.” <em style="border: 0px; color: #848484; font-family: Cabin; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(Cough, Cough)</strong></em></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What are your biggest fears or concerns about being a plus sized runner?</strong></div>
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I worry that I am not taken as seriously as faster runners. I have recently challenged our local marathon about their inclusivity as they retrospectively imposed a six hour limit after I signed up.</div>
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I believe there is a glass ceiling as far as marathons are concerned. It’s OK for plus sized runners to take part in 10Ks, or charity runs, or walking marathons, or Race For Life – the jolly charity fundraising image of the plus size runner is acceptable. But serious plus sized runners? No. A newspaper comment I recently read said “it is an insult to athletes to call plus sized runners athletes” and there are plenty who think like this. It’s simply discrimination and we should face it down whenever we encounter it. Exercise is a good for fat bodies as it is for thin ones. If you run, you are a runner.</div>
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I know there are a lot of people who judge plus sized runners as not taking the sport seriously enough – or assume that if you are a plus sized runner you must be wanting to lose weight.</div>
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I may have an extra layer of padding, but I have run a marathon and I can run more. Yes, it might take me close to 7 hours, but I still deserve to be taken seriously. A 14 minute mile is as far as a 9 minute mile, and marathons are about endurance.</div>
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I recently received a message from a faster runner who said that, at my speed, I should have asked the Race Director for personal permission to run the marathon – despite no time limit being advertised. He argued that I should just run more frequently and train harder like the faster runners. I asked him whatever gave him the impression that I didn’t run 3 or 4 times a week, and didn’t give my all to my training? It’s a misconception. It might be easier for faster runners to run at 12 minute miles, but it’s hard for me and I give as much effort as they do.</div>
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I also get really fed up with non-runners worrying about my knees!</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What is your ultimate running goal and what’s stopping you from getting there?</strong></div>
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I’d like to run an ultra marathon – and fear is the only thing stopping me. That, and childcare. <em style="border: 0px; color: #848484; font-family: Cabin; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(Tell me about it)</strong></em></div>
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I’d also like to run a sub 30 5K, but at the moment I have some gynecological problems and am awaiting a hysterectomy. A combination of the conditions themselves, and the medications (e.g. I am taking beta blockers that slow your heart rate, to combat the migraine side effect caused by another medication I need) means that my pace has slowed. I’m trying to be OK with this – I’m determined not to give up, above all else. I’ve never been very fast, but I do think I’ve been treated less well as I have slowed down.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What could the government, local authorities, sports clubs etc do to encourage more people to take up running and sport, especially overweight and inactive women?</strong></div>
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I think women respond really well to emotional support. We need lots of peer support groups where women support other women to achieve their goals, at a local level as well as online. <em style="border: 0px; color: #848484; font-family: Cabin; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(Look out in 2016 for the roll out of Too Fat to Run clubs around the UK which will be offering exactly this)</strong></em></div>
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I think running clubs need to find more diverse ways of engaging plus sized women and this needs to have an element of confidence building integral to the running support. Plenty of running groups start with 1mile or 5k as the starting group – there’s no way I would have joined a group like this when I started as it took me a long time to be confident that I could run that far. We need more walking / run walking / couch 2 5K groups to encourage women to try running for the first time.</div>
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There also needs to be a clearer route to further distances. I have known lots of women complete Couch 2 5K because they like the structure of the sessions, but then stop running once they are left to their own devices. If we are producing women who can run 5K, we need to continue providing the same sort of support to help them achieve longer distances. I’m currently trying Jeff Galloway’s Run-Walk-Run and have found my pace has improved! It really reminds me of Couch 2 5 K and I think we should encourage C25K graduates to have a look at it.</div>
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We need to develop a culture where adults can set their own goals – I have been told that I need to be “more realistic” and improve my 10K speed before progressing to marathon distance. This was after I had completed a marathon! Why should these events only be for faster runners? Distance running is about endurance, and that has nothing to do with my size!</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What are the biggest barriers for plus sized women?</strong></div>
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Confidence is a huge barrier. It would make a difference if we could easily buy pretty running kit! If you look good, you feel good. I don’t want to look like a sausage bursting out of its skin, thank you very much.</div>
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The dearth of role models impacts not only plus sized women, but other runners who see us as an oddity.</div>
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Another barrier that is common to all women, not just plus sized ones, is how busy our lives are. Women tend to take on more than their fair share of childcare, work, household management and so on. I think we would all benefit from running women sharing how they manage to fit exercise into their daily lives. For example, when I’m doing a long run, I sometimes split it into two runs on the same day, so I can fit in the school run, for example. Or I put the toddler to bed and go out and run until its dark – or I run to running club, do a run there and run home again (its 6 miles each way, so this really adds up.) This might not be the way that Mo trains, but running on tired legs hasn’t done me any harm so far, and has allowed me to fit running in with my family responsibilities.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What is the best bit of running advice you have ever been given?</strong></div>
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I use the mantra “I’m tough, I’m strong, I’m moving” when I’m starting to struggle. During my marathon I also visualised scooping down into myself to collect energy. This was a trick by Hal Higdon and it worked really well for me.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Do you think runners are defined by the speed they run?</strong></div>
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Absolutely, and I think this is wrong. Running is not complicated; we make it so. It’s simply putting one foot in front of the other. One of the brilliant things about running is that, by its nature, its inclusive. You don’t need a lot of money or fancy kit or a gym membership; you can run as far as you want and as fast or slow as you want.</div>
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Running clubs should accept that adults can set their own goals, and that it’s perfectly OK to work on distance before (or even without) speed. If we are to have a lifelong relationship with running, then it’s not possible to always get faster. PBs become harder to achieve – indeed, like me, you might get slower for a while. It doesn’t mean the end, though! We should accept that it’s OK to lace up your shoes and get out there regardless of the speed or distance. We should reward resilience, as well as speed. Exercise is beneficial however you take it.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Do you think there has been an increase in profile for plus size fitness in the last 12</strong> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">months?</strong></div>
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Yes, I think the #This Girl Can campaign has been instrumental in this. We still need to get the word out that fitness has as many advantages to the slower runner as it does the faster runner. How can we be telling people that they are personally responsible for their own obesity, yet excluding them from races they want to participate in?</div>
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There is still plenty of work to be done, but we are making progress.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Has the Fat Girls Guide to Running helped you in any way, if so how?</strong></div>
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It has given me the confidence that I do deserve to be a runner. I feel strongly that we should point out discrimination whenever we see it and the Fat Girls Guide To Running has helped me feel that I can do this.</div>
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Running should be about effort. It’s that simple.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://toofattorun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Unknown-1.jpeg" style="color: #f18216; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="Unknown-1" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-12462" height="265" src="http://toofattorun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Unknown-1.jpeg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 20px 0px 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="204" /></a></strong></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">And finally, as part of our new partnership with the Protein Company we will be sending you some uFit protein drinks to help with your training. Have you used protein drinks before and how do you think you might get on with them? </strong></div>
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Yes, I picked up one of these little beauties after a long training run a couple of weeks ago, so looking forward to receiving some more to hell me in the lead up to my next big race.</div>
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If you know someone who would make a great Runner of the Month why not put them forward for September by emailing help@toofattorun.co.uk</div>
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Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-17745947912682229942015-07-23T21:11:00.000+01:002015-07-23T21:28:56.230+01:00So - what can we learn...<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1437676147163_2863" style="background-color: white; font-family: HelveticaNeue, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; padding: 0px;">
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I am very encouraged to hear that not only have you guaranteed that no-one will be disqualified on the day, but that those runners who will take longer than six hours to complete the race have been contacted individually and advised of the cut off. This is a good move, and I very much appreciate the time you have taken to do this.</div>
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I am not unsympathetic to the amount of work and logistical difficulty there must be in organising a marathon. I always make a point of thanking marshalls and volunteers at any races I take part in (arguably this is one of the perks of being a slower runner) - even if all I can manage is a 'thumbs up.' Without volunteers running events wouldn't happen. Incidentally, I have had at least six people approach me to say they would be happy to marshall at the event and would be very happy to stay longer to encourage the slower runners to complete. I think there is a real appetite to support slower runners and you are missing a trick (not to mention a profit) if you don't cater to them. </div>
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My experience of the running community in Hull has been that it is mostly very encouraging to slower runners, and, if you asked the clubs to come together to help put on a fully inclusive event, I bet they would rise to the challenge.</div>
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I understand that the route cannot be changed at this point and you have made it very clear that you are not prepared to extend the six hour cut off.</div>
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At this point then, I wonder if it's worth thinking about 2016?</div>
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Inclusivity is important; I am encouraged that you have acknowledged this. Hull is a city with issues surrounding obesity, disability and lack of opportunity. However, it is also a city focussed on positive change - and is blessed with a vibrant and close-knit running community and a wonderful general public who are down-to-earth and proud of their city. These are great raw materials for anyone entrepreneurial and passionate about social change!</div>
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The 2017 City of Culture is just around the corner, and you are organising a new event. Why not take the opportunity for this to be a benchmark festival of running that promotes physical activity? You could host events all weekend - 5k colour or zombie run (how much fun would that be? Especially at somewhere like Fort Paull), an old-school style sports day event for teams from local businesses in one of the parks, childrens' events involving schools - there are a multitude of suggestions that could make our 'Festival of Running' fun, vibrant and - most importantly - celebrate everyone's achievements. It would really set Hull apart from the other city marathons. Why not look at setting up an organisation that supports local runners to work towards their Festival of Running / Hull Marathon goals all year? </div>
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If you harness the bigger picture you will be contributing massively towards improving fitness levels in the city - and improving your profits at the same time. Slower runners pay just as much to enter races as faster ones, and just think how many more of us there are. You may even find you are eligible for lottery funding, because of the improving health outcomes aspect.</div>
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I<i class=""> am</i> passionate, however, that the marathon, as the main event, becomes properly inclusive. There should not be a glass ceiling for us slower runners who train just as hard as those who complete under 5 hours, but are just not that fast (yet - or older runners who have been faster but are slowing down, and still want to compete.) There are plenty of other big city marathons - would it not be a great idea to set Hull apart by it's inclusivity?</div>
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With regard to the route as it stands, I understand what you say about running through private land. Going forward, I think there are three suggestions I would make on this point:</div>
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1) Plan a route that does not run through private land, so that any runner needing to take pedestrian status would be able to run on the paths and complete their marathon.</div>
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2) The opposite - plan a route whereby a lot of the final miles of the route is on private land at the end of the race, but with an expectation that it would stay open for longer, thus minimising road closures. Brighton Marathon has a very similar policy.</div>
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3) With regards to Hull specifically, if you wish to keep the same route next year, would it be possible to run the race the opposite way round - so that ABP's Albert Dock and Sirius Academy are cleared and able to close at the beginning of the day? It's not good enough that you can't guarantee that everyone can finish, and may cause problems on the day. Imagine running 24 miles and finding the gates shut to the next bit!</div>
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<b class="">Cut Off Times:</b></div>
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With regard to cut off times, I can honestly see the argument for no cut off at all, but I understand that this is logistically impossible. So, why not set the cut off slightly longer - say 7 hours (ideally 8) - but have a policy to enable us slowcoaches to finish? I believe it's perfectly acceptable to say that you expect runners to be able to at least jog significant parts of the route. It's fine to delineate that it's not a walking marathon as there are separate events held for walkers. There are not separate events for slower runners, sadly.</div>
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Summing up some of the other suggestions that have been made to date:</div>
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- set the slower runners off first, ensuring that everyone completes at around the same time.</div>
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- ensure the route has footpaths so that slower runners can complete by path, if they cannot complete within the cut off time. This means that roads do not need to be closed any longer than necessary.</div>
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- ask marshalls if they would stay longer to support the slower runners, and put these people at the stations in the final few miles of the race? Arguably, this is where the party is, and slow runners really need and appreciate marshall encouragement. It is likely to be a lot of fun.</div>
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- organise marshalls to work shifts with some starting later than others, to cover all aid stations. </div>
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- I receive the parkrun newsletter and it was suggesting that marshalls in the early stages of the race will be finished by 10.30am. If their volunteering ends at 10.30am, could you ask if some would be prepared to go to the later stages of the marathon to support the slower runners?</div>
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As I hope you can see, there are lots of ways the marathon can become more inclusive, and these do not extend road closures or inconvenience volunteers.</div>
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<b class="">Race Information:</b></div>
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Whatever you decide, it's vital that information is clear, consistent and in the places one might expect on the website. In future, can I suggest that cut off information is clear in the Terms and Conditions page, the Runner Information Page, and especially on the payment mechanism (currently hosted through sportsentrysolutions.co.uk). </div>
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It's also vital that the systems of the website don't undermine these policies - for example, being able to estimate a 7 hour+ finishing time when you pay, when there is a 6 hour cut off. This should bring up a call-out box highlighting the cut off time. I am sure this would be easy to programme.</div>
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Can I also suggest that you add a FAQs page? This could include a question about being a slower runner, and would give you the opportunity to showcase your commitment to inclusivity.</div>
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As our sport becomes more popular, the way slower runners are dealt with is going to become a hot cookie and you have an opportunity to be a market leader in this regard. My personal belief is that marathons should be about *effort* rather than time; with an acknowledgement that the back of the pack runner has to work harder to achieve a 12 minute mile pace than someone who can run faster. We're not slow because we're lazy or don't train!</div>
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I also believe that adults should be able to set their own goals.</div>
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In future, I'd be happy to help, if I can. All I want is to maximise participation. Give me a call if you would like to ask the perspective of a slowcoach. My power-to-weight ratio may be a Bentley with an 800cc engine, but I am as keen as a bean (a runner bean. Geddit?) </div>
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Let's do this!</div>
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I'll see you on the 13th September - and I hope to have a double thumbs-up just for you, Phil. Thank you for taking this on board, as busy as I am sure you are.</div>
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Best wishes</div>
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Claire </div>
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Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-11977843299365393842015-07-23T19:36:00.000+01:002015-07-23T19:37:55.697+01:00Response Number 2 from Hull MarathonI know people are reading the blog wondering how this saga will end. I've had another response from Phil Haskins, the Race Director of Hull Marathon. Like I have said previously, I have called them out on their inclusivity stance, so it is only fair that I give them the right of redress. My purpose is to maximise participation in the Hull Marathon (and running events in general), and healthy debate is an effective way to make our voices heard.<br />
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Anyway - here you go! I will be responding again, and will post my response here later this evening.<br />
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I am enjoying hearing all your opinions both here and on Twitter. This has certainly divided opinion. The vast majority of messages I have had have been supportive though. You know you're creating waves when the CEO of parkrun starts following you! (I'm not being obsequious here - but parkrun have managed inclusivity brilliantly. It's possibly because of them that I have been minded to speak out.)<br />
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Claire x<br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Dear Claire,</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Thanks for that response.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">We would like the event to become a good and inclusive running event for people both locally and afar. But in order to make it an event which works on a number of levels for runners, spectators and residents alike we feel that we have to set out some ground rules. One of these will be the 6 hour time limit before roads reopen. <b></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;">Course Opening: </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">You asked about the course passage. You may wish to bear the following things in mind but as we haven’t done the event before, it is difficult to be precise with all timings of when areas will be open/closed. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">It is likely that for up to 30 minutes after the sweep vehicle/cyclists moving at 6 hour pace pass by, there will be marshals around the course. Given that your estimated finish time is 6 hours 30, I would like to think they will be still be around and supporting you as they progressively stand down. Our sweep marshals will also make us aware of any post time limit runners.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Should you fall behind the sweep vehicle, until Sirius Academy (Mile 21) the course will be open i.e. you would be able to run on the pavements. Beyond the 6 hour cut off i.e. around 13.45 we can’t guarantee that the school might not close its gates and in particular the passage through the school itself. Equally, I imagine that there will be an additional 30 minutes beyond the time limit while the relay station packs up etc.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">You can then follow the route until ABP’s Albert Dock at mile 24. Because this is a commercial operation i.e. a company which has kindly let us use their site for the period of the marathon, I imagine that the gates to the dock will be closed fairly shortly after the 6 hour cut off (around 14.45) to enable them to continue with their normal operations. There is however a footpath which runs around the dock and then along English Street to Commercial Road. This runs parallel to the course route. We could look to have a marshal here to direct you and any others.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">The rest of the route to the end can be navigated via pavements.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">In short, as you can see, I can’t guarantee that you will run the exact route as the other runners if you fall behind the sweep vehicles, but one that will be approximately equal in length. You will be able to get to the end and cross the line having done a marathon distance. No-one is getting disqualified. However Claire, I think it likely that given you have put down 6 hours 30 as your finishing time, you will reach many of these points fairly shortly after the sweep system and that there will still be people around. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>Website</b>: As mentioned, the 6 hour time limit has been on the website in the Runners Information ever since we launched. I recognise though that this wasn’t in our Terms and Conditions which we hadn’t properly expanded upon on the site and will be aiming to rectify this in the coming days as we do appreciate your point that it’s important to make these things as visible as possible. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">We have contacted those 8 people who have put a finish time of over 6 hours on their entry forms. 2 have currently got back to me and both are understanding of the limit.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">I note your point about 18 weeks of training but would also ask you to understand the over 18 months of work that has gone into this event from both myself and my team of volunteers, who are not counting the opportunity costs of their substantial involvement. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">This is currently a very busy period for us as a team as we get to the critical stages of organising the event but I have taken the time to respond as I appreciate the efforts you are putting in to get to the starting line. We will do our best to support you to get over the finish line and I’m sure it will be a great experience but we will be doing so under the rules and guidelines we have established and been working to for the last 2 years. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Kind Regards</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Phil </span></div>
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Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-12057844204669912272015-07-22T18:05:00.002+01:002015-07-22T18:06:02.895+01:00Update - there is no updateHello, Internet!<br />
<br />
I've not yet had a response from Hull Marathon to the letter I sent on Monday evening. I will keep you posted.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, I wanted to cut and paste this piece, from a Hull runner, who articulated the issue very well.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks again for the support - I'm blown away. I did a tough 12 miles this morning, and will go out again for another 6 - 18 miles in one day. It might not be quite how Mo trains, but it's all miles on the legs (and us slower runners need to get creative with our time management; slow running takes longer to train for!)<br />
<br />
Claire x<br />
<br />
_______<br />
<br />
Posted by Rachel Anderson:<br />
<br />
<span data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><span data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$text0:0">"I think there are a couple of separate, but intertwined issues here. </span><br data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$text1:0" /><br data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$text3:0" /><span data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$text4:0">The first issue is that the organisation of this race has been far from clear. Claire - you've always stated that you check T&Cs closely and wouldn't enter races with cut-offs that </span></span><span data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><span data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text0:0">you couldn't meet or that wouldn't allow headphones. I am sure you did the same this time. Races have cut offs, we all know that, and there is no issue with the concept of a cut off, for whatever logistical reasons necessary, per se. Also, many ban headphones. Again, completely valid. I know that you don't disagree with either of these issues. However, the rules of any race need to be CLEARLY stated from the moment the race is advertised. These rules need to be accessible from standard webpages AND mobile sites. Also, the sign up process must make it clear that these rules exist and, in this instance, should not allow someone to select a estimated finish time of over 6 hours. Given that they are allowing 'slower' runners to sign up then they need to have a workable contingency plan for those runners and CLEARLY state what it is. Currently, this contingency plan is confusing. They need to sort this out and then communicate it to those individuals that it might affect. OK - the race is in its first year and mistakes might be made. It may be that allowing people with estimated finish times of over 6 hours to enter has been an oversight. If so then they the organisers cannot bury their heads in the sand over it; they need to do something about it. Change their webpage and also communicate with those individuals that have already entered about how they intend to proceed. Given that the mistake is theirs I would expect what the do to involve some concession on their part. Ideally, a mechanism by which these runners can finish the race. </span><br data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text1:0" /><br data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text3:0" /><span data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text4:0">The second issue is a much wider one regarding inclusivity of running as a sport. It is an important issue and one that extends far beyond the Hull Marathon. It is also one that, I fear, is unlikely to be resolved here. However, that doesn't mean you should stop trying. I, personally, think Hull is the perfect place to raise such issues and that the organisers are, to some extent, missing a trick by not doing so. As you know, I'm not from Hull, but I have taken this city as my home and it has its problems. Issues surrounding obesity, disability and lack of opportunity are rife here. Also, it is a city that is trying to pull itself out of the shadows. This is an opportunity to do so; it is a new event in a city where these are hugely pertinent issues. It is also a city that has a vibrant and close-knit running community. My experience is that the different running clubs within Hull (and surrounding areas) make running accessible to a wide range of individuals and are generally very supportive of each other. I truely believe that, if they asked, the running community of Hull would pull together to make this an inclusive event. One that is set apart from others BECAUSE of its inclusivity. There are plenty of other big city marathons; I'm not sure Hull can compete with those. So, why not make itself different? </span><br data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text5:0" /><br data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text7:0" /><span data-reactid=".2f.1:5:1:$comment10205658572515883_10205661173100896:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text8:0">The second issue deals with issues of idealism that I don't think will happen. But, that does not mean that these issues shouldn't be raised. The first issue is one that has to be dealt with if the organisers of this marathon want the event to be successful and to continue in future years."</span></span>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-56756554594082740902015-07-20T22:44:00.000+01:002015-07-20T22:44:17.171+01:00This Girl Can't part 3 - another open letter to Hull MarathonDear Mr Haskins,<br />
<br />
Thanks for your prompt response to my open letter, I was really encouraged to read it. I did Tweet you the link too, but I'm glad Liz Edgar's message got your attention.<br />
<br />
It's clear to me that we have a lot of common ground; we are both passionate about running as a sport and about the Hull Marathon becoming a brilliant event. It's a real opportunity to showcase Hull, isn't it? Let me reassure you that my ONLY motivation is to maximise participation.<br />
<br />
I am glad you raise the point about the Hull Marathon being a new and unprecedented event; this is exactly why I have spoken out at this point. You have the power to make whatever changes you wish before people start thinking "well no-one raised this before, so it's not really a problem." As a slower runner, I can see that some of your procedures and policies do make the event, as it is planned, inequitable. I'm reassured to read that your are committed to include all runners regardless of ability. I hope we can find a solution together.<br />
<br />
Other cities host marathons with 8 hour cut offs (including London) so it is evidently not impossible. I challenge you and your team to find a creative solution that makes the Hull Marathon become the festival of running it truly could be. Afterall, 1% of the general population complete a marathon in their lifetime. What a shame if, having become one of those 1%, you can't run in your own, local marathon because they deem you too slow. You mention that residents may be unhappy about road closures; I suspect that they'd find it incomprehensible that, if the city roads are shut down, some willing and able marathoners would be excluded from the event, especially those with pluck and balls.<br />
<br />
I have two main points in response to your letter.<br />
<br />
1) Your information is contradictory. You say I will be able to complete the marathon and be received at the end, and given an official time, medal and t shirt. Brilliant, thank you. Can you confirm that *all* of the course will be open to me? Your runner information states that, if I am asked to leave the race because it looks as though I won't meet the six hour cut off (Pedestrian Status, as your website calls it) "at this point some parts of the course may be closed to public access." This reads to me that you can't guarantee that all of the course will be open to me to run in. Will it be? If not, I respectfully suggest that it doesn't matter what happens at the end, because I'm not going to be allowed to get to that point.<br />
<br />
It's important you clarify this to me, the other slower runners who may well not be aware of the 6 hr cut off, and any marshalls who may interpret the rules rather more aggressively on the day. You need to be aware that, with the website as it is - still accepting estimated marathon completion times of between 6 and 7+ hours and no mention of the cut off on the Ts and Cs - there are going to runners who have already signed up, who have no idea that they may be disqualified mid race.<br />
<br />
Assuming just 1% of the 4000 places will take longer than 6 hours to complete (and it could be much higher) that's 40 people, running at the same sort of pace, who will feel utterly humiliated at being told they can no longer run. 40 angry people who have already run ?15 ?20 ?22 miles, who find that part of the course has been shut. That's a lot of angry runners all at once, in one place. And they'd have every right to be furious;<br />
<br />
A) being disqualified mid race is humiliating. Slow runners deserve the same respect and dignity as the elite.<br />
<br />
B) Slow runners invest their time, energy and money into training for your race. I paid for my place in December, I've already been training for 18 weeks. That's 18 weeks of childcare, 18 weeks of blood sweat and tears. 18 weeks of belief and self doubt. Countless hours gaining sponsorship, hours away from children, hours asking relatives and friends to accommodate your training.<br />
<br />
If we take a brief breakdown of just the financial costs -<br />
<br />
Entry fee - £35<br />
New running shoes - £120<br />
New Sports bra - £32<br />
Childcare (average of 5 hrs a week for 18 weeks @ minimum wage) - £585<br />
Sports gels / nutrition for long runs and the race, etc - £50 approx<br />
Overnight stay before race - £100<br />
Transport to race - £50<br />
<br />
You're probably looking at around a financial investment of around £1,000 per runner <i>just to get to the start line. </i>You can see why people might be cross.<br />
<br />
Can you guarantee me that, at the point I am disqualified - or made to take on Pedestrian Status - I will be able to cross the finish line?<br />
<br />
Because if you can, I'm in.<br />
<br />
Although I'm not hugely sure what the point of disqualifying anyone is, if they can then finish and get their medal, t shirt and official time. But that's up to you. You say I can't run on the paths as the distance might not be accurate, but you won't extend the road closures either. This sounds to me like you *won't* let me finish, and the comments about finishing are tokenistic. I'll let you decide on that and get back to me.<br />
<br />
2) You have not addressed the issue of the website. I maintain that it is still not clear enough that there is a cut off. I implore you to add this to the home page, and the Ts and Cs as well as Runner Information. I also ask you, please contact anyone who has already signed up and estimated their time will be 6 hours + and explain to them, in advance of the race, about the cutoff. There is no excuse for hoiking people out in public on the day.<br />
<br />
Please can you also stop taking payment from people who will take 6 hours + to complete, if you can't guarantee they will finish. You are not setting out terms to bar entry, you are setting terms to disqualify in race. I bring you back to my point about dignity.<br />
<br />
Finally, I appreciate your second offer of a refund or a relay place. I'm going to decline again; I want to run the marathon I paid for. You are making the mistake of assuming I need to run a competitive time in order to be good. I run for the sheer, unadulterated joy of running. I am a marathoner. You can keep my money.<br />
<br />
I really hope to hear back from you with good news. You have the power to make this happen. Maybe, if you ask your Marathon Makers, a few would be happy to work later and support slower runners, or work shifts? Maybe we could have this discussion on local radio and ask people what they think? Especially since there are ways you could be inclusive that don't involve extending road closures and inconveniencing volunteers. Also, make this a policy and you have my cast iron guarantee that I will volunteer as a marshall for 12 hours + next year, if necessary, to allow all runners to join in.<br />
<br />
Let's make this an amazing event! I'll help however I can, for free.<br />
<br />
<br />
Best wishes<br />
<br />
Claire x<br />
<br />
PS no idea what happ<br />
<br />Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-4121604421162912782015-07-20T21:24:00.000+01:002015-07-20T21:36:49.445+01:00This girl can't part 2 - Hull Marathon's ResponseJust wanted to say how blown away by the support I've had on here, Facebook and Twitter. As of now now, 9pm on the 20th July, this page has received over 5,000 views and innumerable retweets and messages of support. I am utterly blown away.<br />
<br />
Claire x<br />
<br />
_______________<br />
<br />
Today I received the following response from Philip Haskins, the race director of the Hull Marathon. I have been thinking about how to tackle this and have decided to post all correspondence here. This is simply because, having called Hull Marathon out on their inclusivity stance, I feel it is fair to give equal weight to their response, in the interests of fairness and clarity. I have no axe to grind, I just want to maximise participation.<br />
<br />
I will post my response to this letter a bit later this evening, when I've written it (LOL!) I've just got the kids to bed and had my dinner. I was feeling a bit stressed today, so my lovely husband took me to Sweatshop to buy me some new Mizuno Wave Riders to help with my marathon training. This is the man who ran 3 miles back, after finishing his own marathon, to find me and run the last 3 miles of my marathon in with me so I didn't have to do it alone. Yes, I want all of Twitter to know what an awesome guy he is ❤️<br />
<br />
And here is the response from Hull Marathon:<br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Dear Claire,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Thank you for your blog post which was shared to our site by Liz Edgar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Naturally, we were disappointed to hear of your feelings about our event and your participation, but would obviously like to address some of your points. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Firstly, it is wrong to say that we don’t want you to participate. We recognise that there will be a broad spectrum of abilities taking part and, as you say, it’s often those people towards the back end of the field who are most worthy of support and encouragement. We are keen to see people use the event as a platform for motivation and self-improvement, people very much like yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Secondly, it is totally wrong to say that the website in December was a two page site. Rather, it has been up with the 20+ pages you see today since mid October 2014. The part about the cut off time, in Runner Information, has been there since the website launch as well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Thirdly, the 6 hour cut off time is primarily about road closures and is in no way a reflection on the running ability of those taking part. A large closed road event like this will have significant impact upon the lives of many local residents, many of whom will have little interest or sympathy with marathon runners and it is only fair that we take into account their interests as well. Equally, we will be asking many of our Marathon Maker volunteers (between 400 and 500 of whom are likely to be marshals on the route) to be giving up their time on the day. We will be asking them to arrive early and, as with the residents, we think it unfair to be asking them to extend their duties indefinitely. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">In an ideal world we would love to keep the roads closed but as mentioned above, it is a balancing act between the needs of runners and local residents. We have to draw the line somewhere and, like other major marathons with a largely urban profile such as Chester Marathon and the Manchester Marathon, we have gone with 6 hours. This is especially the case for this first year of running the event when we have no yardstick to compare with and are keen to make sure that everything goes according to plan, though like other aspects of the event, we will review this policy post event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Furthermore, if you do finish, you will get a time, plus all the other things the other runners will receive such as medal and t-shirt, and there will be people there to receive you at the end. You will not be abandoned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">We note your alternative solutions and will give some consideration to them, but allowing some runners to go off first would require longer road closures and longer stints for volunteers, as the safety of these runners would need to be given the same priority as other runners. The second one i.e. running on paths, would incur the likelihood that an inaccurate distance would be run. We are keen to maintain the integrity of the measurement and the route and can’t have one route for some people and another for others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">My team and I are currently working very hard to make this a good event for both the city and the runners and have tried very hard to be as transparent as possible about our planning and delivery of this event. We are sorry that you feel we haven’t been. As previously mentioned, given the depth of your feelings on this matter, we would be happy to consider a refund. Or you can transfer your entry to another runner. Another alternative might be for this year to consider taking part as a member of a relay team, as many people are doing, and then in future years when your training is more advanced, to take part in the full event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Again, our cut off policy on this is certainly not a reflection on your efforts which I can see are an inspiration to others, but I hope equally that you can see our point of view as well in trying to deliver a good sporting event which balances the interests of everyone taking part; runners, spectators, residents and volunteers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Feel free to ring me if you wish to discuss further.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Kind Regards<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;">Philip Haskins<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>The </b><b>RB</b><b> Hull Marathon</b></span></div>
Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-35513100953388265122015-07-19T10:48:00.000+01:002015-07-19T11:09:06.652+01:00Dear Hull Marathon, AKA This Girl Can't<i>This is an open letter to Hull Marathon. Please feel free to comment, share, Tweet etc if you support my stance.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Dear Hull Marathon,<br />
<br />
My name is Claire. I am a 41 year old local woman. I have been running for 2.5 years and I train in all seasons and all weathers, pounding the local streets. In July 2015 I was chosen as a poster girl for the national #This Girl Can campaign.<br />
<br />
I'd imagine I would be exactly the type of person you'd want to be included in your marathon, to be held on September 13th of this year. I was very excited when I bought my place, on New Year's Eve last year. The website was a two page site, that was happy to take my money, and had no terms and conditions on (or at least no race cutoff. I'd have noticed that, given my last Marathon took 6hrs and 50 mins, I'm sure.) So I paid, and, a few weeks ago, I started training. On Thursday I hauled my (not insubstantial) ass around 16 miles of Holderness countryside, and I have a date in my diary next week for 17. I've put my hopes, dreams, blood, sweat, tears and money into preparing for your race.<br />
<br />
Imagine my surprise to hear that you don't want me to participate. I am too slow! Yes, despite the fact that your website is still allowing people whose estimated completion time is 7 hours + to pay for a place, and there are no terms and conditions listed (these are the 2 pages I look at when booking a race place), it is hidden in Runner Information that I must be able to complete the marathon in six hours or no banana.<br />
<br />
And it is quite literally no banana too. You say that, at any point in which I'm deemed to slow by race organisers, I will simply be asked to leave the race. I can become a Pedestrian, which is awfully generous of you, and collect my bags and race mementoes at the end, but you will withdraw marshall support and first aid (and presumably bananas too, and water.)<br />
<br />
That's OK. I can bring my own bananas and water. No biggie. Seems a bit, erm, <i>aggressive</i> though.<br />
<br />
This bit makes me laugh though. I can assume "Pedestrian status" at the point in which you ask me to leave the race (DISQUALIFY is the word they use, no?) and "at this point you are no longer in the race and can continue at your own risk" (FINE - well, not fine, given that I've paid and all, but...) and then "at this point some parts of the course may be closed to public access." So I can't complete, can I?<br />
<br />
I have paid for my place and you are saying that I can't finish. If I have the temerity to take on pedestrian status, as I will, I can assure you, you reserve the right to close a part of the course so I can't finish. You also point out that you will not display my time in the final event results, which feels a bit, you know, like I'm embarrassing to you.<br />
<br />
'Hull woman runs slowly' shocker.<br />
<br />
Before you tell me this is about road closures and how you don't want people like me AKA "fatties") to inconvenience the general public, let me make two suggestions.<br />
<br />
1) You start off the slower runners first. Anyone who is expecting to complete in 6-8 hrs goes first. Hell, it's chip timed, <i>we're not going to win. </i>I bet we'd even stay to the left to let faster runners overtake. We don't want to spoil the event, we want to participate.<br />
<br />
2) You allow 6-8 hour runners complete the marathon by running on the paths. It'll only be for the last 10 miles at most. I run on the paths when I train, this is fine with me. I'd like to be included in the official times, though, given that I actually finished. The hare and the tortoise both finished the race.<br />
<br />
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Now I'd like to put the case for why you should include slower runners.<br />
<br />
Running is an awesome sport. Ultimately, you only compete with yourself. It's free! Four years ago I weighed well over 20 stones. I had a chronic illness and I needed crutches to walk. Then I lost eight stones. (I've put on a bit since, given that I'm menopausal and awaiting a hysterectomy, but that's OK, I did not expect my journey to health to be straightforward. I'm still working on it! I've been medically cleared to run too, if that's your next thought.) I am doing OK for where I am on my own journey. Maybe, in a year or two, I will be able to run a sub 6 hour marathon, but, for now, I want to compete. I can run 26.2 miles. I've paid. Please let me.<br />
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I've spent many hours racing at the back of the field. Whilst the elite racers give it their all for 2 or 3 hours, we're giving it our all for 7 or 8! Marathon running is an endurance sport. Us slowcoaches are masters of endurance.<br />
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We are lively, full of character, supportive. The back of the field really demonstrates the very best about humanity. We encourage each other. We run alongside runners raising money for charities close to their hearts - showing names and photos of deceased friends and relatives, often tragically young. Runners who will endure substantial discomfort in order to raise money to help others.<br />
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The back-of-the-pack runners hold stories of amazing personal challenge; weight lost, running despite lack of support, through the jibes of errant children, through injury and disability. Through emotional, social, and psychological barriers as well as the physical ones.<br />
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Hull has one of the highest rates of obesity and lowest rates of adults participating regularly in sport. Whilst many of us (myself included) can admire the achievement of the elite runners, it doesn't inspire us to change our own behaviour that much. I'm inspired just as much by the horse that wins the Grand National, as I have an equal chance of being like them. What <i>does</i> inspire others to have a go is someone a bit like them. Someone they can relate to. I think you're missing an opportunity to celebrate the achievements of *all* runners, and the chance to provide a springboard to encourage new runners to have a go too. What a wonderful legacy of the Hull Marathon that would be!<br />
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At its bare bones it comes down to an issue of equality (dare I say - discrimination?) The back runners are, disproportionately - older runners, women, new runners, charity runners, those recovering from illness or injury, those with disabilities (obvious and hidden), walkers, run walkers and so on. Are you able, both legally and in good conscience, to exclude these people? Because, if you are, I suggest you make it explicit on the front page of your website (and your Ts and Cs) and stop taking payment from people who estimate they will take over six hours to finish. It's disingenous (and many more things besides.)<br />
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This is a public event, supported by the council (who, one might assume, would be compelled to support equality in local events.) I'm not asking to pop round the the race organiser's barbeque and have a bite of his sausage. I want to run in the event I've paid for. If I hadn't noticed the cut off and emailed the race organisers I'd still be none the wiser and would be unexpectedly (and it would be dreadfully humiliating) told on the day that I had to stop.<br />
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I have made this point by email and you offered me a refund. I do not want a refund; I am a local runner and I want to run my local marathon, the one I have paid for. I will be turning up, and I will be completing as a pedestrian if necessary. I'll bring my own bananas, water, medal if needs be and I'll run on the path.<br />
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This girl most certainly can, and she will. I am sorry if that is inconvenient. I'm not just doing it for myself - I'm making the case for the inclusion of ALL runners who want to be there. 20% of London Marathon runners finished between 5 and 8 hours.<br />
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You know what they say - never mess with a woman who runs 26.2 miles for fun. A 14 minute mile is as far as a 9 minute mile. I can endure this.<br />
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I'd be very grateful if you would reconsider your stance.<br />
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Many thanks<br />
<br />
Claire Boynton<br />
<br />Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-25396976023231953132015-01-25T21:56:00.002+00:002015-01-25T21:56:45.969+00:00The More Things Change...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
When I started this blog, six years ago, I was having a nervous breakdown. We use that term lightly these days but it was a proper, broken brain, type scenario. It was scary. I did not know that I could break. I did not know what to expect. There were a lot of lows - a lot - but I did get through it and my life became <i>wonderful</i>. From genuinely not expecting to live through the breakdown, however dramatic that sounds, I ended up giving birth to my beautiful daughter, Florence, restarted my career in teaching, lost 8 stones and took up running. It felt like my happy ever after.<br />
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However, since September 2014 I have been off work with anxiety. It'd been an odd year - I could feel the black dog breathing down my neck from January for no particular reason. I got into running and went from running 10k (6 miles) to a marathon - 26.2 miles. That was a lifetime high as, until 2012, I always thought I was pretty much allergic to exercise. However, something, generally, wasn't quite right. It came to a head at the end of the summer when the school I work at was taken over by an academy chain. It was a soul destroying few weeks. The skills I had, and the job I loved (engaging disaffected teenagers) was no longer considered a priority. I was moved into an area I had little experience in or enjoyment of, and the work hours ramped up massively. I did three weeks of 80 hours of work, on a 3 day contract. My 3 children still needed all the day to day things that they ever did. I was in the thick of marathon training. I was spending weekends driving all over the country looking at prospective universities with Jonathan. My parents weren't in the best of health and both needed me to drive them to numerous hospital appointments. Something had to give.<br />
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I could feel the old symptoms creeping back: the whirring brain that never switches off. The crying. The constant feeling of panic and uselessness in your stomach. So, I quit. I walked away. I went and cried on my lovely GP who signed me straight off work, and I handed my resignation in the very next day. My health was not worth sacrificing - especially not for the £1.15 an hour (net) I had been working for.<br />
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I took the photo above on the day I realised that I couldn't go on anymore. I have plenty of pictures of me looking like a strong woman in 2014. I wanted to post this one to remind myself that I can break. However, I was strong enough to walk away. I decided that I would put myself first and I did. I'm pretty proud of that.<br />
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Since that day, well, things have been a bit variable, to be honest. I am still signed off and still struggling with anxiety which can feel all-encompassing some days. Some days I don't want to leave the house. But I make myself. I am keeping myself busy because I have been here before, and I know I will heal. It will just take time. I still have my beautiful daughter, and she is more amazing than I could have ever imagined. I still have my fantastic boys and my wonderful husband. I have my health.<br />
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From now on, this blog will be a reflection of my life <i>now. </i>It probably won't be as craft-focussed as it once was. I still love to craft, but don't get much opportunity. To be honest, I don't actually mind if nobody reads this, because the very act of pouring my soul into the void is healing. Plus, it's a kind of personal archive that I think keeps a more dynamic record of my life, warts and all, than a photo album or a diary.<br />
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So, what will I blog about? Parenting, for sure. Right now I am pretty obsessed with decluttering and reorganising our home. I still love to cook. I am learning to live on a budget (using YNAB - 'You Need A Budget' app) which is why I have migrated my blog from Typepad to Blogger (who could overlook a saving of over £60 a year?!) Cleaning - I am just a little obsessed with Flylady and Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. Cooking - feeding a family of five on a budget of 5p is not an easy challenge. Plus I am trying to eat healthily, lose weight and shift the last 4 stones I want to lose.<br />
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It may seem a bit strange, but I don't actually feel terribly negative about my situation generally, even if I feel bad somedays. Maybe its because I not only healed before, but my life became so much better. I always knew the black dog would snap at my heals again. I know that I will probably have to dance this dance with him for the rest of my life. I also know that I am rich in love and, bearing all this in mind, having little money really is nothing to worry too much about. It's circumstance, not destination.<br />
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Care to share the next part of the journey with me?<br />
<br />
Claire x<br />
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<br />Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-43650198881414887252014-11-28T10:43:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.790+00:00Interior Design<p>What colour cushions do I need for my dining room? And how many? Just a couple on each sofa, or an abundance?</p><br /><p>I am the very model of indecision. Any advice on artwork for the plain walls also appreciated, as what we have no longer goes.</p><br /><p>Our house is a 150 year old cottage, which has been extended well beyond it's initial footprint within the last 10 years. This means that some rooms are traditional, with fireplaces and features - and we've decorated with a cottagey, shabby chic style in those rooms. However some, like the dining room, are quite modern and I don't think the shabby chic thing works as well. The wallpaper in the dining room was inspired by my collection of retro crockery. This whole retro style is new to me, so I am lacking in confidence a bit. The walls are a plain, neutral grey-beige (Dulux Egyptian Cotton), the sofas are cream leather and the table, sideboard and skirting boards are oak. Therefore, everything else is very neutral.</p><br /><p>All ideas appreciated :-)</p><br /><p><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b8d09c1209970c-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="IMG_3490" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01b8d09c1209970c img-responsive" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b8d09c1209970c-500wi" title="IMG_3490" /></a></p><br /><p> </p><br /><p><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b7c7121af7970b-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="IMG_3491" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01b7c7121af7970b img-responsive" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b7c7121af7970b-500wi" title="IMG_3491" /></a></p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-71379454837136314332014-10-15T17:09:00.000+01:002015-01-25T18:49:07.777+00:00"I decided to go for a little run...."<p>Running a marathon was never something in my bucket list. In fact, I remember clearly the first time I even thought of it. I had just graduated from the 'Couch 2 5K' programme, and I looked in the mirror and thought “if I carried on like this, I could probably run a marathon one day!” It was a sort of joke as, frankly, I was the most unsporty person I had ever met.</p><br /><p>Couch 2 5K was still a novelty and I was quite astounded that I had managed to complete it. I sort of started because I was curious – and a little bit hopeful, the way you are at the start of a diet. I hadn’t really expected to finish. This was why I got up at the crack of dawn to run, and why I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing. I half expected to prove to myself that I could not run as, deep down, I knew this to be true, as surely as night follows day. Except, eventually, I proved to myself that I could. I could run for 50 minutes without stopping. Yes I was slow, and wobbly and breathed like a wheezy old steam train, but I could finish it. I was losing weight and I was genuinely enjoying myself. Who would have thought that? Certainly not me. And so, with wry amusement, I carried on, wondering where this could lead.</p><br /><p>There was a lot of running between then and the time that I signed up to do the 2014 Yorkshire Marathon, a year later. I still was slow, but faster than I was, and I had lost a lot more weight. I was still running 3 times a week, on average, and had worked my way up to long runs of around 10 miles. I was mostly sure, still, that I could not run a marathon. But I could not evict that sparkly little voice that said “but, my dear, what if you could?” Besides which, it was my 40th year. I wanted to do something to invest in myself and it needed to be difficult in order to be rewarding. So I went for the one thing I knew I could not do.</p><br /><p>Nothing masochistic there, then.</p><br /><p>I awoke on the 12th October 2014 at 5am, with the cold grip of terror around my throat. It was dark, it was foggy and there was not a bit of me that wanted to get out of bed. I knew, KNEW that I could not finish, and felt heartily foolish for ever thinking it might be possible. Worst of all, I had told people, TOLD PEOPLE! What sort of idiot does that? This sort. This overgrown, still overweight runner who gets beaten by pensioners. What on earth made me even think I could do this?</p><br /><p>To be fair to myself, the weeks leading up to the marathon had not been on Hal Higdon’s Novice One plan. I am a teacher. I sweated out long runs all through the balmy summer holidays, nearly vomiting in the heat on occasions, to make sure that I was marathon-ready. During the last two weeks of the holidays I peaked at a 20 miler, and then ran two half marathons in four days the week afterwards. I was feeling confident. However, in the true spirit of sod’s law, things went tits up. My school was taken over and my job changed beyond recognition overnight. I was suddenly not working the 3 day week contract I had been expecting (and had factored in to my training plans) but 80 hour weeks. I really wanted to do my best, but it was slipping away from me, like sand through my fingers. I realised I had cried every day for a month. The old symptoms started to re-emerge – hot flushes, rollercoaster tummy, heart pounding, feeling nauseous. I knew it was time to go to the doctors.</p><br /><p>Even though I was desperate not to, I cried all over my doctor who, sensing my humiliation, signed me off for a month. The thing with anxiety is, though, that by the time you recognise the symptoms, the process has started. The beast has awoken. You can’t switch it off. Time off work and medication really do help, but the black dog is awake and sniffing about and whispering in your ear. Then it becomes a real battle.</p><br /><p><em>‘If you were any good, you’d have stuck to your training plan.’</em></p><br /><p><em>‘you can’t do it, you know you can’t. You're wasting everyone's time.’ </em></p><br /><p><em>‘you’re making a massive fool of yourself. They’re all laughing.’ </em></p><br /><p>Mentally I was 20 stones again, disempowered, on the sofa. How could that woman – me – run a marathon? It was impossible.</p><br /><p>I asked my doctor, hoping, I suppose, for her to confirm that a person signed off from work should not be so preposterous as to run a marathon. She said that I was signed off with a mental illness, not a physical one, and that exercise was good for dealing with stress. She saw no reason why I should not continue to exercise at a rate I was used to. In fact she encouraged it.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>Sat on the ‘park and run’ bus in York, we were driven towards our chilly doom. The fog was so thick you could not see through the windows. 70 adults sat quietly, shivering in lycra, the nervous energy palpable. Dressed in my running kit, running jacket, gloves and charity shop fleece that I would abandon at the start line, I was agog and most impressed by the lady wearing only her vest. Runners are at once the softest, kindest people I have ever met and hard as nails.</p><br /><p>The bus journey passed oh so quicky, and suddenly we were dismounting at York University, the familiar thud-thud of the pre-race PA system vibrating the ground. The old excitement began to build. Except it wasn’t summer, it was thick fog! And it was bloody freezing. I didn’t fancy hanging around eating bananas and queuing for an ice cold portaloo. As I followed the stream of neon runners, like a trail of ants, hundreds upon hundreds of them, my heart began to sink. This was going to be dreadful. What was I doing here?</p><br /><p>We checked in our bags. I had packed everything I thought I would need afterwards – a change of clothes, a hoody, two towels, fluffy socks, Crocs, an entire pharmacy, half a ton of bananas. I was beginning to sense I might have overdone it. Then there was that moment when you check in your wordly goods to a stranger, and walk away with only the things you stand up in – and no money or car keys. I felt vulnerable and a long way from home.</p><br /><p>We made our way to the Jane Tomlinson Appeal area. To my sheer joy it was not a tent, as had been the case in the past races we had run for them, but a warm, centrally heated ROOM! Best of all, were clean, warm, flushing toilets with NO QUEUE. Let joy be unconfined at such luxury! I was delighted. Maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad after all.</p><br /><p>Dom and I hovered about for a good 40 minutes chattering nervously. We rearranged our trainers. We ate bananas. We fiddled with our iPods. We checked our Garmins over and over again. Gloves or no gloves? Running jacket or not? Time ticked by. I felt sick to my stomach. Soon enough, we were on our way to the start line. I heard my name shouted and called round to see my friend, Karen, and we gave each other a massive hug. It was just what I needed. We wished each other well and carried on.</p><br /><p>Dom said goodbye as he was filtered towards the pen for the faster runners. I felt my lip wobble as he waved and ran off. I was alone. I made my way to the back of the start line, to zone 5, at the very back. I had expected it to be full of cartoon characters and the elderly. I had, somewhat arrogantly, assumed that I would not be last. I was wrong. I eyed my compatriots suspiciously. They all looked pretty good to me – young and fit. Were they injured? Who knew. Why were they in zone 5? It seemed that everyone was going to take this very seriously, and I had foolishly imagined it would be like the London Marathon I had seen on telly, or the 10ks I had taken place in. There were no teddy bears, no gorillas, no men with fridges on their back. Just me. Dithering inside and out, feeling a million miles from home.</p><br /><p>Suddenly, the human wave surged forwards. Walking, then stopping. Walking then stopping. Competitors grinning at other competitors, chipping in on each other’s conversations. Matt Dawson, the ex England Rugby player, was on the PA system making light hearted chit-chat and calling out people’s names. As a fundraising idea, I had asked my friends to choose a song for my playlist for a £1 donation to the Jane Tomlinson Appeal. As the runners surged forwards, and a walk turned to a jog, my iPod started to play ‘Chariots of Fire.’</p><br /><p>And then - I was running a marathon.</p><br /><p>The first part of the course was downhill. “It’d be great if it was all like this” I quipped to the bloke next to me, thinking it obvious it was a joke. He looked at me like I was an idiot. A few moments later, I bumped my elbow into someone behind me, as we all jostled for position. “Sorry!” I called. “Sorry!” she called back “I guess I’ll be doing a lot of this!” I laughed heartily. As she ran past, I realised she was blind. I cringed. This moment was only to be excelled later in the race when I saw a figure looming through the fog. “Look! Someone in fancy dress!” I shouted.</p><br /><p>“I am a Vicar” he replied. Oops.</p><br /><p><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01bb0799c7c8970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Cp20x30-YYYA0726" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01bb0799c7c8970d img-responsive" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01bb0799c7c8970d-500wi" title="Cp20x30-YYYA0726" /></a></p><br /><p>Chariots of Fire made way to a little bit of Motorhead and things started to look up. The crowds around York were plentiful, and everyone was cheering and waving flags. I started to feel a sense of occasion. After about half a mile, my breathing started to get less ragged and my body started to settle down to its familiar rhythm. I was trying to run slower, endlessly slower. I didn’t want to start off too quickly, and I knew that 10 minute miles were ridiculously quick for me. Calm down, Claire, calm down. Ribbons of runners streamed past me, each trying to find their own pace. Before long the back of the pack had thinned out and there were just few of us running along silently at the same pace, in the mist and the cold and the damp.</p><br /><p>“Hi” said a voice behind me “fancy a running partner?” A woman with a kind smile, younger than me, was at my side. I discovered her name was Robyn and she had travelled down from Newcastle by herself on the train to run this marathon. Her train had been cancelled and she had to catch one an hour later, only narrowly making the start of the race. I said hi, and we started to run together, chatting. Agadoo played in my ear, then Chase and Dave. My friends are bastards. Robin laughed. We worked the crowds. Everyone cheered, and we high 5-ed all the children. I had my name printed on my blue Jane Tomlinson shirt, and hoardes of people were shouting “COME ON CLAIRE!”, “you can do it, Claire”, “You’re doing brilliantly!” whilst thrusting jelly babies and Haribo into our hands. The marathon photographers were calling our names and snapping pictures. I have never felt more like a rock star.</p><br /><p><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b8d07ea796970c-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Cp20x30-YYYK1410" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01b8d07ea796970c img-responsive" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b8d07ea796970c-500wi" title="Cp20x30-YYYK1410" /></a></p><br /><p>As we passed York Minster, I spotted Mike Tomlinson. I was impressed, and somewhat in awe as I am reading Mike and Jane’s book at the moment, so I sort of feel like I have a connection with him, in that weird way you do when you spend time reading someone’s book. I said hi, and he came over and pressed his hand against mine. It was a small gesture – a slightly too long hand press, a momentary connection of eyes. A small gesture that whispered ‘well done, keep going, I can see what this means to you, these events are about people like you.’ I felt ten foot tall.</p><br /><p>Village after misty village passed slowly by. We thanked spectators and marshalls for their support, we accepted sweets and we gurned at children. The mist settled into droplets on my eyelashes, making everything seem like it was in soft focus. We quickly developed friendships, shared confidences, told our stories. There is nothing like running to shortcut to your deepest emotions.</p><br /><p><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01bb0799c83f970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Cp20x30-YYYM4376" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01bb0799c83f970d img-responsive" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01bb0799c83f970d-500wi" title="Cp20x30-YYYM4376" /></a></p><br /><p>By mile 8 I was struggling. We were running in woods by this point, and there seemed to be an increasing number of inclines. We were running at 11.5 minutes per mile and it was a bit quick for me. I was starting to feel a bit stressed and my joints were starting to creak. I was also surprised that I was struggling so early in the race, and started to think the black thoughts of doom. I was convinced that this was because I hadn’t trained enough.</p><br /><p>Thankfully, at that point, we met Katy. I recognised Katy from the Vale of York Half Marathon in September because I had chased her down for several miles before overtaking her. It would be fair to say I recognised her more from the back than the front.  Katy joined Robyn and I and we continued, a merry band of 3, chatting and running and making merry in the misty Sunday morning for the next few miles. I was very glad of Katy’s company, not least because she was a bit slower than Robyn and gave me chance to get my breath back.</p><br /><p>During this time I regained my composure and felt really strong, powering out a good couple of miles at a decent clip (for me, at least.)  Robyn seemed to be frustrated by the lack of pace. I urged her to run ahead, but she didn’t want to. “I’ll never leave a man in the field” she said, over and again. I reassured her that it was fine, she should stretch her legs, and I would catch up with her later. Eventually she started to stretch out the distance between us.</p><br /><p>The miles were starting to pass quite quickly. 9, 10, 11, 12 – we were nearly half way! Just past the half way point there was a place where the runners ran on both sides of the road and I spotted my brilliant friend, Rachael, which was a real boost. We threw our arms around each other and it felt brilliant. Rachael looked good, but a little grey faced and I was a little worried about her. Soon enough we were at the 14 mile cheer station and there I saw Aunty Pauline, snapping away on her camera, although I was not feeling very photogenic, admittedly. There was a band playing here, and a dodgy Elvis DJ.</p><br /><p>“You’re doing really well!” called Aunty Pauline “I’ll see you at the finish!”</p><br /><p>She was a vision of smiles and home.</p><br /><p>It felt like a long way to go. Katy and I ran onwards, chatting, now the deepest of friends and compatriots, determined to lift ourselves and each other out of any gloom that passed our way. We gossiped, laughed and became increasingly sweary as we got tired. We cheered each other on. We shared secrets, jelly babies and pain killers. We smiled and thanked the marshalls and supporters. We agreed that without each other, we might be tempted to give up. We kept saying aloud “we WILL finish,” “only a few more miles and we’ll be counting single numbers” and we SMILED.</p><br /><p>Before long we came across Robyn again, and a friend she was walking with, Rich. Robyn was limping and it she told us that her hips were sore. She had had an accident during her training and had only managed to train up to 13 miles, so she was well beyond her longest run. Sensing that she needed the company I walked alongside her. We laughed as the spectators kept shouting “Come on girls!” ignoring six foot – very obviously male – Rich.</p><br /><p>It was evident that Robyn was really struggling. Not only was she limping, she was wincing with every step. We were on a long, slow incline. I asked her if she wanted me to get help. “I am not giving up!” she said, time and again. “I want my bling! I have come this far, I am not giving up.”</p><br /><p>We fantasised about the menus of fast food restaurants and what we would eat when we finished the race. The Jane Tomlinson Appeal tent promised a free pint and slippers. I talked a lot about that. However, I was worried. Robyn really was not looking good and there was 11 miles still to go. Each step was causing her to cry. Still she would not give up. I was beginning to worry about myself too – my hips were sore and starting to stiffen up. I needed to run to loosen them off a bit. Besides which, the sweep car was visible, and I really did not want to be told to give up. I had trained for months for this.</p><br /><p>Robyn’s earlier words rang in my ears: “I will never leave a man in the field.” I could not run ahead, could I? She was in pain. But if I didn’t, I might be swept up and have to give up my place.</p><br /><p>I gently suggested to Robyn that I needed to run. “I’m so sorry, Robyn” I uttered, apologetically and full of shame. “I am going to have to run on. My hips are stiffening up.”</p><br /><p>“OK” she responded. “I will try to run too.”</p><br /><p>My heart sank. She howled with each step. My dreams of finishing were evaporating. I had been walking slowly with Robyn for half an hour.</p><br /><p>Suddenly I had a flash of courage. We were all trying to persuade her to stop, but she was determined to finish. “I am going to get medical help,” I said.</p><br /><p>And I ran backwards. Back down the hill, back to a passing policeman on a motorbike. Back down the road I had just run, knowing I would have to turn around at run up that hill again, covering that patch for the third time. The policeman told me to tell the sweep car. Back to the sweep car, to explain that a woman was injured and needed help. Back, back, back. My heart aflutter with panic and misery.</p><br /><p>And then I looked at the task ahead. I was at the back, at the bottom of a long, steep hill. Of course! “What does the Fox say” was ringing in my ears for the fourth time as I guilded my loins, picked up my courage, rejected the urge to cry and ran for all I was worth up that massive bloody hill. Again. Everything hurt.</p><br /><p>Shit. I really needed to make up some ground.</p><br /><p>Eventually I caught up with Katy and we exchanged anxious glances. She wasn’t daft. She knew as well as I did that we were in trouble. As the four-by-four passed us with our injured friend on board, we put down our chins, swung our arms and charged our tired bodies forwards at the greatest speed, power walk or shuffle we could muster. We didn’t speak. We gave ourselves the goal of reaching a couple of marathon power walkers who had passed us long minutes before. We reasoned that they would have a strategy and would be walking at exactly the right pace to avoid being swept up. The road was long and the dreaded mile 18 approached. The wall. The part where it all comes undone.</p><br /><p>My mood was not improved by seeing someone doing a poo in a field, or by looking at a dead rat underfoot. But – BUT – we were doing it! We had made up ground! We were marching forwards at quite a good pace now, alternating jogging with power walking. We were trying to work out the maths, but our addled brains were struggling. We were averaging 15 minute miles. That’s not bad! We reckoned we could finish before being swept up, if only we kept this up.</p><br /><p>Around 18 miles the sun came out and we started to feel elated. It was going to be OK! We were doing it! Where was this bloody wall? Nowhere, that’s where! We were going up another long, slow hill, but it was all going to be OK – WE were going to be OK. We were going to finish! As my mood soared, weird things started to happen in my head. My eyesight was a bit odd. I felt elated - exhausted and sore - but elated. This was not what I had planned for. Everything had become a bit fuzzy around the edges. The sky was twinkling. Then I realised that the sky was moving into funny shapes. I was hallucinating. My phone buzzed with text after text after text with friends who were wishing me luck, telling me jokes, telling me they were running with me in spirit. Katy was there, my soul sister, my marathon family, driving me ever forwards. The dappled sun lit the beautiful Yorkshire countryside and I started saying ever more bizarre things.</p><br /><p>“I wonder what those horses are thinking?”</p><br /><p>“umm…” replied Katy</p><br /><p>I have never been so happy in my entire life.</p><br /><p><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b7c6f4a725970b-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Cp20x30-YYYQ1075" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01b7c6f4a725970b img-responsive" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01b7c6f4a725970b-500wi" title="Cp20x30-YYYQ1075" /></a><br /> </p><br /><p>It wasn’t long before things became difficult. By 20 miles, I was starting to slow down. Katy was charging ahead, full of vigour, and I was starting to worry about my left hip flexor. Was it just sore? Was I pushing it too hard? We had been doing a lot of power walking, which was a great way to cover ground quickly and rest the running muscles, but I had not done power walking in my training and it was beginning to show. With reluctance, I let Katy run off into the distance. The crowds had thinned out now, and I was on my own.</p><br /><p>I was much, much too close to the end to give up. Just a 10K to go! I had run so many 10ks before, but a 10K is over an hour of running at my best pace, not the wearing trudging that I was managing now. An hour. A whole hour more of running.</p><br /><p>I remembered something I had read by Hal Higdon. I imagined reaching deep inside myself with a cup and scooping up the last of my energy. With each step I chanted</p><br /><p>“I’m tough”</p><br /><p>STEP</p><br /><p>“I’m strong”</p><br /><p>STEP</p><br /><p>“I’m still moving”</p><br /><p>STEP</p><br /><p>“I can do this”</p><br /><p>STEP</p><br /><p>Over and over and over. I trudged, robotically, for a good couple of miles in this zone. "I'm tough, I'm strong, I'm moving." There were still spectators in their gardens but I couldn’t really hear what they were saying to me. One toothless old man said “Keep going, my love. It doesn’t matter if you’re slow, you’ve covered the same distance as the rest of them. Keep going!” He had a flock of geese in the front garden of his bungalow. I think. I commented on them, and he looked at me strangely. Were they there, or was I still hallucinating?</p><br /><p>One lady called “you’re doing so well, Claire! Keep going! You are almost a MARATHONER! How does that feel! You’ve nearly done it! I am so proud of you – a MARATHON! That’s brilliant, you must be so proud!”</p><br /><p>I sobbed.</p><br /><p>So did she.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>I kept moving. At mile 22, just before the mile marker flag, I heard some one from the pub garden shout: “Oi, mate! You’re going the wrong way!” and a cheer.</p><br /><p>And there was my wonderful husband, grinning like a loon, running over to give me a hug. He still had his marathon number on, having finished two hours before. He had run back so that I did not have to run those final two miles alone. I have never been more pleased to see anyone in my life.</p><br /><p>Those final two miles passed really quickly as he told me how his marathon had gone. We were back in the city now and it all suddenly seemed fun again. People were sat drinking beer in the late afternoon sun, and were all smiles and encouragement. Before I knew it, I was approaching the finishing straight and Dom peeled off to run alongside me.</p><br /><p>About 100 spectators were still there, cheering the remaining stragglers on. I was entirely alone running down the finish straight. The announcer read out my name and said “this is Claire Boynton. She entered the Yorkshire marathon as part of a fitness campaign. She was 40 this year and wanted to do something to celebrate her birthday”</p><br /><p>All eyes were on me, and I was feeling rather small.</p><br /><p>“In 2011, that’s 3 years ago, she used to be over 20 stones. Oh my God! She’s lost over eight stones in weight! That’s incredible! Come on, Claire, you’re nearly finished. Oh my God, this is incredible.”</p><br /><p>I sobbed. Big, snotty, chest heaving, unattractive, heart rendering sobs.</p><br /><p>I was here. At the finish line.</p><br /><p>By the power of my own two feet.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>I was a marathoner.</p><br /><p><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01bb0799c94c970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Cp20x30-YYYA7023" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01bb0799c94c970d img-responsive" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01bb0799c94c970d-500wi" title="Cp20x30-YYYA7023" /></a></p><br /><p> </p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-3383210523817477632013-08-25T17:47:00.000+01:002015-01-25T18:49:07.716+00:00How to lose a lot of weight (100lb, or 7 stones and counting, in my case)<p>It amazes me to say this, like I’m having some sort of<br />wonderful dream that I’m about to wake up from. But, the truth is that I have<br />lost 101lb or 7 stones and 3 lb so far, in about a year. Little old me! Me who<br />has been fat her whole adult life, and who has been on every diet going. Yet one<br />of those endless tries at weightloss worked, even though I suspected they were all going to end in<br />misery. Yay! Don't give up!</p><br /><p>Let me tell you, there is NOTHING special about me. If I can do<br />it, you certainly can.</p><br /><p>This is me on the 24th August 2012, and the 24th August 2013:</p><br /><p><br /><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c019104f76fe0970c-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="24 august claire" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c019104f76fe0970c" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c019104f76fe0970c-500wi" title="24 august claire" /></a><br /><br /></p><br /><p>In my experience, people who ask this question want me to<br />answer that I’ve found a magic tablet / supplement / diet plan, and the weight<br />has fallen off quickly and easily. I bloody wish. Sadly, the “secret” of my<br />weightloss is no secret at all. </p><br /><p>If you want to take away a headline, then this is probably<br />it:</p><br /><p><strong>To lose 100lb, you<br />need to do what you do to lose 1lb, but for longer.</strong></p><br /><p>Like, durr. We all know that. But, do you KNOW that? Really<br />know it in your heart? Because, in my experience, people tend to expect that I<br />have dieted harder, been more extreme, found something new. But it doesn’t work<br />like that. You didn’t get fat overnight, you aren’t going to get thin overnight<br />either. You need to change your habits. Long term. Long. Term. But you know this.</p><br /><p>Whilst we’re about it, I’m not keen on the word ‘diet’<br />either. I haven’t followed any commercial diet plan, been to classes or had hypnotherapy, or read a certain book. I have no beef with other weight loss<br />plans, I suspect its about finding one that suits you. This time, for me, I<br />have NOT DIETED. I have eaten healthily and counted calories. I've just eaten sensibly.</p><br /><p><span style="color: #bf005f;">Tip 1) Don’t diet. Eat<br />wholegrain, eat your five a day. Try not to eat too much meat, but enjoy it<br />without guilt when you do.</span></p><br /><p>Tip number two would be this. And<br />yes, you are reading right.</p><br /><p><span style="color: #bf005f;">Tip 2) <strong>Eat cake every day. Yes, really. Yes, I<br />have eaten cake every day and still lost seven stones. Pinky promise.</strong></span></p><br /><p>Counting calories is just magic, I promise. Don't dismiss it because its not as fashionable as Dukan, or 5:2 or whatever. A<br />calorie is a calorie is a calorie. You could eat just Mars bars every day - if<br />you stop when you get to your allocation, you’ll still lose weight. It might<br />not be sustainable long term, but it works. This means that <span style="color: #bf005f;">NOTHING IS OFF<br />LIMITS</span>. Yes, that’s right. Take a minute to think about it and let it sink in.<br />You don’t have to give up anything. You can have whatever you like and you can still lose weight. Even 7 stones. </p><br /><p>For me, I have a wicked sweet<br />tooth. My normal diets usually go like this: start hugely committed and stick<br />to them rigidly. Fight that darned sweet tooth. Have some success. Get a bit more<br />laid back. Fancy something I shouldn’t have. Dabble with the banned food. Maybe<br />gain a pound or stay the same. Thereafter, for the next few weeks / months, I<br />can be found face down in the banned foods, scoffing as though my life depended<br />on it. My self esteem goes through the floor as, yet again, I have failed, yet again.</p><br /><p>Well no more, my friends. What I did was to work out exactly<br />what I needed, and what I could give up on. Wine I liked, and crisps, but I can<br />generally give those up without too much stress. Chocolate, cakes and biscuits?<br />Not a chance. These are my weak spot. So I have them every day. There are a few<br />rules. I count EVERY calorie, especially the treat ones. I only treat myself<br />once a day. It's better to go out for cake, because the rest of the cake isn't whispering to you. If I can substitute a treat for something that hits the same spot but is<br />more filling, I do that. A great example is Nutella on crumpets as a mid<br />afternoon snack. It has roughly the same number of calories as a bar of<br />chocolate, but actually fills me up more whilst still satisfying the craving.</p><br /><p><span style="color: #bf005f;">Prioritise the cake <span style="color: #111111;">(or whatever your 'thing' is)</span></span> – its what keeps you on the wagon. Its<br />much harder to fall off if you allow yourself to eat anything you fancy. Do<br />this every day. Enjoy it. Nothing is banned. I even allow myself wine and crisps on occasions.</p><br /><p><span style="color: #bf005f;">Tip 3) Write<br />everything down</span></p><br /><p>As I type it’s the end of August 2013. I have written down<br />every single thing that has passed my lips, with the exception of two days (that<br />I regret when it was my children’s birthdays) since January 2013. Every single<br />thing. It keeps me accountable. I love ‘My Fitness Pal’ which is available as a<br />web site and app. It is a database of calorific values and helps you record<br />what you eat. It’s a GOOD discipline to get into. Do it and do it religiously. </p><br /><p><span style="color: #bf005f;">Tip 4) Weigh<br />and measure</span></p><br /><p>Yawn! I can hear you from here. Weighing portions is so<br />unfashionable. We perceive it to be a massive bore. You know what? It takes<br />seconds. It keeps you on the straight and narrow. It helps produce pretty<br />graphs in My Fitness Pal. Trust me on this; just do it.</p><br /><p><span style="color: #bf005f;">Tip 5) Exercise</span></p><br /><p>I’ve just lost 50% of the audience, I know. You know this<br />stuff. I was the MOST unfit, 20 stone lump of womanhood, seriously, I couldn’t<br />run for a bus. I was almost 40, mother of 3, morbidly obese. Don’t tell me you<br />can’t exercise, because you can. I know you can because I did.  I downloaded the Couch to 5K app (C25K, I used<br />the Zen Labs one, but there are loads and they’re all the same) and I had a go.<br />It was not a pretty sight, but I did it. Remember this:</p><br /><p><strong>It’s never easy, but<br />its always possible. Nothing worth doing is ever easy.</strong></p><br /><p>You can do it. All you need is a decent sports bra and, once<br />you’re sure you’re going to stick with it, a pair of proper running shoes – but<br />I didn’t even buy these for six weeks. If its too hard, repeat a week. If I can<br />do it, you can. </p><br /><p>Within five months, I was running a 10K. Looking knackered,<br />and a bit grey, but I did it. A year ago I would have laughed in your face if<br />you’d told me I would run a 10K, but look! Here I am! I'm about a stone lighter now too.</p><br /><p><br /><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01901f0197b3970b-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="20x30-HRAK1705" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01901f0197b3970b" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01901f0197b3970b-500wi" title="20x30-HRAK1705" /></a></p><br /><p>And that’s the basics. I am hoping this blog post will be useful<br />to those who are trying to lose weight, and will be a place I can refer others<br />when they ask me what I have done. Of course, I can only speak for myself. If<br />you have any questions, experiences, tips or suggestions, please will you consider leaving<br />them in the comments section below?</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>Good luck with your journey. Your health is the most<br />precious gift. Hard is the new black, yes? You can do it too.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>Claire x</p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-34198527623368969842013-04-26T12:08:00.000+01:002015-01-25T18:49:07.701+00:00I'm a Loser, Baby...<p>The eagle eyed amongst you might have noticed by my Twitter feed that I've taken up running recently. It's true - don't laugh! Believe me when I say I was about as fat and unfit as they come. When I quietly mentioned that I fancied having a go at running to my nearest and dearest, around the end of December, no-one said much. You could see that, although they didn't want to be unsupportive, they were thinking <em>"yeah, right! I give that a week!" </em>I didn't post on here about it because, if I'm honest, I didn't think I'd keep it up myself. I didn't buy myself any running gear or fancy trainers (for a few weeks, anyway). It just sort of snuck into my life. However, I'm slightly amazed to report that, sixteen weeks later, yes, I am still running three times a week and yes, I am loving it. No-one could be more surprised than me! I now run 5k three times a week, and I'm signed up to do the Hull 10K on the 19th May. I'll be honest, this absolutely <em>terrifies</em> me. Still, it's good to get outside one's comfort zone, yes?</p><br /><p>It's all been part of a drive to live a healthier life. There are lots of reasons why I wanted to improve my health, and I'll share those in a future blog post. However, dear God, I wanted to be WELL. 2 years of illness made me realise that health was a precious gift and if I didn't do everything that was within my power to wring the last drops out of life, then I was a fool.</p><br /><p>I've been asked to share pictures by lots of people now. I've lost quite a bit of weight. This isn't just from running, I've been consciously eating healthily too - and breastfeeding has helped me, certainly. I've been stuck in a weight loss plateau for the past 5 weeks and, although I am diligently eating healthily and exercising at different levels of intensity 5 days a week, its very frustrating. I've not put these photos together before, so it seemed like it might be a good motivator for me too.</p><br /><p>Although I've lost weight, this is part of a journey. I've been losing weight very slowly for 10 months now. I expect I still have another year or more to go. I'm over half way, but this is very much a work in progress. This picture sums that up better than words:</p><br /><p><br /><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017eea95b0ce970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="IMG_0371" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c017eea95b0ce970d" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017eea95b0ce970d-500wi" title="IMG_0371" /></a></p><br /><p>This was me at the start of my journey (July 2012), at the heaviest I've ever been. I only own one photo as I found them all so revolting that I deleted them straight away. My Mum has some on her camera though as she refused to delete them for me. I am hoping that I get my hands on those one day.</p><br /><p><br /><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017d4321584a970c-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="IMG_4239" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c017d4321584a970c" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017d4321584a970c-500wi" title="IMG_4239" /></a></p><br /><p>This was me in January 2013:</p><br /><p><br /><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017eea95b8a8970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="IMG_1630" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c017eea95b8a8970d" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017eea95b8a8970d-500wi" title="IMG_1630" /></a></p><br /><p>This was me yesterday:</p><br /><p><br /><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01901b984995970b-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="IMG_1908" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c01901b984995970b" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c01901b984995970b-500wi" title="IMG_1908" /></a></p><br /><p><br /><a class="asset-img-link" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017eea95c080970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="IMG_1901" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c017eea95c080970d" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017eea95c080970d-500wi" title="IMG_1901" /></a></p><br /><p>That's 80lb gone for good, or just shy of 6 stones! </p><br /><p>I feel better for it in every way imaginable. I just feel more comfortable in my own skin, I'm not afraid of running up stairs or running for a bus or similar. My IBS symptoms have gone - ditto headaches and random aches and pains.</p><br /><p>I still have another 4 stones to lose to get to a sensible BMI; I was very overweight. I see this as a work in progress. I've never been a thin adult but this time I am going to nail it, before my 40th in March 2014.</p><br /><p>You'll probably be curious as to how I've done it. I could write a whole BLOG about that, its not always been successful and its not always been pretty. In short, there's no secret or trick, I've just eaten healthily and exercised. Eaten less, moved more. However, here are some of the things that have worked for me. They may not work for you; I honestly believe we need to find our own recipe to living a healthy lifestyle.</p><br /><ul><br /><li>I write down everything I eat and drink, without fail. It makes me accountable. I use My Fitness Pal - its free</li><br /><li>I exercise between 3 and 5 times a week. Mainly running, but also swimming, walking, cycling, dancing and weights. I need to exercise to eat the type of food that I want.</li><br /><li>Great music and gripping audiobooks motivate me to exercise.</li><br /><li>I eat a treat every day - biscuits / cakes / chocolate all work for me. In order to do this I exercise and juggle calories from elsewhere. it keeps me motivated.</li><br /><li>I realised I don't like most diet food, so I don't eat it. I just eat a bit less.</li><br /><li>I weigh all my carbs without fail</li><br /><li>I eat wholewheat</li><br /><li>I've mostly given up alcohol. Sweet treats were more important to me. </li><br /><li>I eat smaller portions - its not as painful as I thought it'd be</li><br /><li>The Hairy Dieters book is BRILLIANT</li><br /><li>I home cook from scratch as often as possible</li><br /><li>I follow healthy eating blogs and I belong to a supportive Facebook group. We all need cheerleaders.</li><br /><li>I give myself days off and don't feel bad about it - this is a lifelong change. I'm not fat because I eat Easter eggs at Easter. I'm fat because I eat a packet of biscuits every day without thinking about it</li><br /><li>It wasn't my willpower that was lacking, it was my ORGANISATION. Meal planning and shopping ahead make healthy eating far more likely</li><br /><li>My tastes are changing the longer I eat healthily. I'm not even that keen on McDonalds these days. This is a very big deal for me.</li><br /><li>I forgive myself if I make poor choices.</li><br /><li>This is controversial - Slimming World didn't really work for me. I lost weight initially but I failed to keep it off (many, many times) because it didn't teach me about portion size. I needed to be more directly connected to calories in order to re-educate myself.</li><br /></ul><br /><p>There are more, I'm sure. If anyone wants to add me on My Fitness Pal or Runkeeper, I'm ClaireBoynton. I'm happy to provide encouragement and support.</p><br /><p>If you're inspired by this post, please will you consider sponsoring me for the Hull 10K? I'm raising money for the Jane Tomlinson Appeal. She was such an inspirational woman, and a great example of someone who achieved what she set her mind to. The charity does great work in supporting children's and cancer charities - sadly I have known too many people this year who've been diagnosed with cancer - scarily all of them women, and all of them my age. One of them is no longer with us :( </p><br /><p>If you can afford it, £1 would make such a difference. </p><br /><p>https://www.justgiving.com/Claire-Boynton2/</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>With love</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>Claire x</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p> </p><br /><p> </p><br /><p> </p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-68998777045223192002013-02-07T12:41:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.655+00:00The baby plays on a carpet of handmade (some unfinished!) quilts<br/><br /><br/><br /><a class="asset-img-link" style="display: inline;" href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017ee84d5f93970d-pi"> <img class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a011571427739970c017ee84d5f93970d image-full" alt="Image" title="Image" src="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/.a/6a011571427739970c017ee84d5f93970d-800wi" border="0" /> </a><br /><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-30454006158028774792013-01-23T09:05:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.643+00:00Crochet Class 4: Granny Trebles<p>During this tute you'll learn how to form the iconic granny stitch, and you'll make a teeny, tiny granny stripe blanket!</p><br /><p>I'd love to see pictures of your finished work, please leave comments either here or on You Tube, or the Facebook group (Mrs Bee's Emporium). As always, I'm happy to answer questions, give clarification or advice - just ask!</p><br /><p>Happy hooking!</p><br /><p>Claire x</p><br /><p> </p><br /><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fj-ydAYYVF8" width="560"></iframe><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-82783895479903959662013-01-23T08:53:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.598+00:00Crochet Class 3: Hooks, Slipknots and Chains<p>Here is the third video tutorial in the series - in this episode you finally get your hands on the yarn! Learn how to hold the hook and yarn, how to make a slipknot and how to make chain or foundation stitch. Don't forget your homework!</p><br /><p> </p><br /><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/c3DTF52WJyM" width="560"></iframe><br /><p> </p><br /><p>Please let me know what you think in the comments below - I'm new to this and want to get it right! All suggestions appreciated. If you require further clarification I'd be only too happy to help too - and don't forget to share with me pictures of your work, so I can shower you with praise and appreciation! We're all in this together!</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>Claire x</p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-78344751192003848852013-01-22T10:42:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.587+00:00This Moment<p>My daughter's gorgeous chubby, doughy baby legs. All too often they're covered up with tights and babygrows, but today they get to go free. She loves them exposed because it means she can chew her toes. I love them exposed because, quite honestly, I think they are the loveliest, velvetiest things I have ever touched.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/claireboynton/8404225361/" title="Babylegs by Claire Boynton, on Flickr"><img alt="Babylegs" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8363/8404225361_799df26f7a.jpg" width="500" /></a><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-78199429151623508572013-01-21T13:03:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.542+00:00Crochet Class 2: Watching<p>Here we go! The second class in the series. I know, I know you're desperate to pick up your hook and GET ON WITH IT! But hold your horses. At some point over the next few days, I can almost guarantee you, you will go throught The Long Dark Night of the Soul. With crochet, its kind of the law. Lots of people say "I tried crochet and I could get the chain stitch, but then I got stuck"</p><br /><p>Well yes, the thing is with crochet that all the pain and misery is front loaded. That's why it's called the Long Dark Night of the Soul. You probably will feel like giving up, you'll swear, and chuck the blasted yarn across the room a number of times. But each time you feel like giving up, please watch this tutorial again. You can't watch someone crochet too many times. You are developing muscle memory, just like when you learned to walk or learned to drive. Eventually you will do this without thinking.</p><br /><p>You WILL get there. </p><br /><p>Practice, practice, practice - it's the only thing that works!</p><br /><p>(sorry to sound so smug, but it's true)</p><br /><p>Claire x</p><br /><p><iframe frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/e_ljPP-dX9E" width="560"></iframe> </p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-2439062962134130592013-01-14T11:21:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.530+00:00Fancy Learning to Crochet?<p>Happy<br />new year! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and are buzzing with enthusiasm<br />for 2013. All was lovely here - Florence's first Christmas was relaxed. We<br />spent a lot of time with family and we also lazed around and ate far too much,<br />but that was fab and just what the doctor ordered. Father Christmas bought Florence her first tooth, which<br />arrived, without fuss, on the 28th. All I can say is "ouch." I'm<br />still breastfeeding. Just.</p><br /><p>Since<br />a lot of people like to take up new hobbies in the new year, I thought it'd be<br />a great time to put together a project for those who want to learn to crochet.<br />In 2012, I met several people who were keen to start but said that even the<br />most basic tutorials assumed that they knew all about yarn, etc. This is a real<br />beginner's guide. As the weeks pass, we'll make a granny square blanket,<br />or a cushion cover if that's your preference (you start in the same place and then decide which project to follow half way through.) All you need is 6 balls of DK<br />(double knit) yarn and a 4mm crochet hook. If that sounds like gobble-de-gook,<br />then watch the movie where I explain<em> alll</em> about it. You can just buy one<br />ball of yarn if you're not sure you'll like it, and see how you go.</p><br /><p>I hope the<br />tutorials will be part information and part support - learning any new skill is<br />a challenge and I want to be there to assist, reassure and pass on experiences.<br />My own personal challenge right now is losing weight and I am a *total*<br />exercise novice (embarrassingly so), so I empathise with the new crocheters. If<br />you're an experienced crocheter and have any advice you'd like me to pass on,<br />then please email me. I'll give full credit to all contributers.</p><br /><p>So, here we go.<br />All feedback appreciated:</p><br /><p><iframe frameborder="0" height="281" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/57356957" width="500"></iframe><br /></p><br /><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/57356957">medium</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/mrsbee">Claire Boynton</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p><br /><p>If the embedded video player isn't working, there's a problem with Typepad. You can find the video by following this link: <a href="http://vimeo.com/57356957" target="_blank">http://vimeo.com/57356957</a> </p><br /><p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Online <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yarn" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Yarn">Yarn</a> Recommendations:</span></p><br /><p>For this project, I'll be using Debbie Bliss Rialto, as I<br />have it in my stash already. However, the following would also be good. I've given a brief guide to price according to which yarn you choose, too.</p><br /><p>Lovely - <a href="http://hejhog-uk.com/debbie-bliss-rialto-dk-c-170_181_224.html">http://hejhog-uk.com/debbie-bliss-rialto-dk-c-170_181_224.html</a><br />(cost approx £25 for finished blanket / cushion)</p><br /><p>Gorgeous - <a href="http://hejhog-uk.com/artesano-dk-c-170_252_258.html">http://hejhog-uk.com/artesano-dk-c-170_252_258.html</a><br />(£22)</p><br /><p>Luxury - <a href="http://hejhog-uk.com/debbie-bliss-cashmerino-dk-c-170_181_231.html">http://hejhog-uk.com/debbie-bliss-cashmerino-dk-c-170_181_231.html</a><br />(£25)</p><br /><p>Bargainous luxury merino - <a href="http://hejhog-uk.com/wendy-merino-c-170_382_393.html">http://hejhog-uk.com/wendy-merino-c-170_382_393.html</a><br />(£14.70)</p><br /><p>Mid price Acrylic / merino blend - <a href="http://hejhog-uk.com/wendy-mode-dk-c-170_382_412.html">http://hejhog-uk.com/wendy-mode-dk-c-170_382_412.html</a><br />(£8.82)</p><br /><p>Stylecraft Special DK is a nice acrylic<br />in several colours that comes highly recommended. I've not used this yarn or<br />this company, so can't recommend personally. Word on the web, though, is<br />they're good: <a href="http://www.countrycrafts.org.uk/special_dk.htm">http://www.countrycrafts.org.uk/special_dk.htm</a><br />(£8.94, but that's for double the amount of yarn, so you could make two<br />blankets!)</p><br /><p>RICO Creative Cotton - have used this<br />yarn and this supplier. Would recommend both. The yarn is similar to string and<br />can be a bit splitty, so buyer beware, it could be tricky for a newbie. That<br />said, it's a good price for a natural material: <a href="http://www.first4yarns.co.uk/rico-creative-cotton-705-c.asp">http://www.first4yarns.co.uk/rico-creative-cotton-705-c.asp</a><br />(£11.40)</p><br /><p>Hope that helps - as I say, that's just some suggestions for those who are feeling overwhelmed by their first yarn purchase, there are thousands of other options especially now it's sale<br />time. Just check its DK / double knit and can be machine washed (superwash).<br />I'm very happy to take a look at your potential yarn purchases, just PM me.</p><br /><p>I really like <a href="http://www.hejhog-uk.com/">www.hejhog-uk.com</a> as their prices are<br />reasonable and their customer service second to none. They don't pay me for<br />recs though, lol, so feel free to shop elsewhere. A note of caution about Kemps<br />Woolshop - their prices are excellent and I've always received parcels quickly,<br />HOWEVER their search engine is a total PITA. I've just searched DK yarn and the<br />first few items are not DK weight. If you plan to order from Kemps, I'm happy<br />to double check that you have the right weight yarn.</p><br /><p>Good luck!</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>With love</p><br /><p>Claire x</p><br /><p> </p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8103021577378959995.post-58863194040373306112012-11-28T19:32:00.000+00:002015-01-25T18:49:07.471+00:00This woman's work: Limoncello and amigurumi<p>Just a quick post tonight, as its late and I am <em>exhausted. </em>Its been a busy day at the cottage. The baby fed, quite literally, all night and I woke with a sore back from twisting around her slightly in bed. Thankfully I feed her lying down an night, so I managed the odd doze. I awoke late, so Charlie was late for school and, because I'd had to wake her abruptly (and she hadn't had enough sleep either,) the baby was grumpy. Just as I'd poured myself the first cup of tea of the day, Jonny appeared and said he'd missed the school bus. 15 minutes later I'm driving us all the 15 mile round trip to school.</p><br /><p>I've tried to work today, honestly I have, but the darkness and the horrible, cold rain has conspired to prevent me from being too motivated. I cut up some paper, and finished my hand and footprint tiles, which I will share with you another day. I am pleased with them. Then, right on cue, Florence woke up and I spent most of the rest of the time baby wrangling. Or baby wrestling, as my friend calls it. Florrie's a big, heavy baby now who won't sit still. She's prone to suddenly arching her back and flinging herself around. Wrestling is an accurate description.</p><br /><p>Still, the baby went into the sling and that gave me chance to work on the next stage of the Christmas alcohol - home made <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limoncello" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Limoncello">Limoncello</a> and Blackberry vodka. I spent a relaxing couple of hours mixing up sugar solution, sterilising jars and pottering about.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/claireboynton/8227913020/" title="Untitled by Claire Boynton, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8069/8227913020_02e63da9f6.jpg" width="500" /></a></p><br /><p>The now sweetened lemon vodka will now retreat back into the fridge for a week to infuse some more, before I strain the lemon zest out and bottle it. </p><br /><p>Here's the recipe in case you fancy having a go. There's still time before Christmas</p><br /><p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Limoncello</span></p><br /><p>6 small unwaxed lemons</p><br /><p>1 litre bottle vodka - cheap will do</p><br /><p>750g caster sugar</p><br /><p>750ml boiling water</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>1. Wash and sterilise a large Kilner jar by putting into a cool oven for 10 mins (gas mark 1/ 140 degrees C)</p><br /><p>2. Wash the lemons, then grate the lemon zest finely, taking care not to take the pith (ha!)</p><br /><p>3. Put lemon zest into sterile jar and pour over the vodka. Secure well and store in a cool, dark place for one week. Shake everyday - it looks like a snowstorm of yellow snow (nice)</p><br /><p>4) After a week has passed, measure out the sugar into a large bowl. Add freshly boiling water and stir carefully until the sugar dissolves.  You can tell when the sugar has dissolved as it goes clear, and if you put a spoon into the mixture, you can't see or feel any granules on the back of the spoon. Stir the lemon infused vodka into the sugar syrup.</p><br /><p>5) Wash the Kilner jar, along with another of the same size, and sterilise both. Pour the combined mixture of lemon vodka and sugar syrup into the jars. Store for another week, shaking every day. Strain the Limoncello through a clean muslin cloth and decant into pretty, sterilised bottles.</p><br /><p>Store in the freezer and drink neat, use in cocktails or pour over ice cream.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>The blackberry vodka is proving to be more of a challenge as we've gone a little off piste with this. We wanted to use the blackberries left over from the <a href="http://knittedbacktogether.typepad.com/knitted-back-together/2012/11/jam.html" target="_blank">railway jelly</a>, so we bundled them into a demijohn and added vodka. I've been keeping notes. I'll share them with you at a later date.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>I also wanted to share this little dude with you. Well, dudette. It's Cactus Jacqui!</p><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/claireboynton/8226936261/" title="Untitled by Claire Boynton, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8478/8226936261_63b5256b0f.jpg" width="500" /></a><br /><p>How I enjoyed making her! The pattern was free, enjoyable to crochet, and I made her up in a night! a perfect project. You can find the pattern <a href="http://amigurumipatterns.blogspot.co.uk/search?q=cactus" target="_blank">here</a>.</p><br /><p>Cactus Jacqui is part of a gift I've made for a handmade Secret Santa. I need to post her tomorrow, hopefully the postman will deliver her safely to her new home on the other side of the country.</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p>Well. That wasn't quick, was it?! Thanks for hanging out with me again, though, its always fun.</p><br /><p>Claire x</p><br /><p> </p><br /><p> </p><br /><br/>Claire Boyntonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741791798019657751noreply@blogger.com0