Saturday, 30 October 2010



Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not feeling very inspired by Halloween this year, so my lovely ball of fluff, Bob, will have to suffice. He's just a bit Halloweeny, isn't he? Halloweeny cute, maybe. Christmas, however, I am looking forward to. In fact I've bought all our presents, except three, and I even intend to wrap them next week. But Halloween and Bonfire Night? I've lost my mojo this year.

It's a glorious autumn day here - that lovely golden, pinky light - and the trees are a stunning range of yellows and oranges and reds. I really should get out there with the camera, but I can't motivate myself. The only good thing about Halloween, as far as I am concerned, is the carte blanche chocolate eating. That I shall enjoy, yum yum.

It's a busy time here at Bee towers. Dom has just got the honey in for the winter and the bees are settling down in their hives. They form a ball shape that constantly moves, so the ones on the outside move inwards where it's warm, and they each take a turn on being on the outside where it's cold. Amazing, isn't it?

I'm preparing for Christmas sales by getting a whole new load of stuff into the shop. I'm terrified it's not going to sell. There's no real reason for my anxiety, but it does worry me enormously. I think that's one of the downsides of working alone - you know you have to keep on developing, and keep on making things, but you don't have that reassurance that what you are making is actually wanted by real people. I'm not a natural business woman. I wish I could have a bit more confidence in myself. I was very humbled and reassured to see that a fellow craftswoman and Facebook friend was having a similar crisis of confidence this week, awful as that sounds. At least I'm not alone!

Anyway, I'm off to perk myself up with coffee and brave thoughts. I shall leave you with my Fireworks scarf, as it's rather festive.


Claire x


Monday, 11 October 2010

Darker Nights, Lighter Me.


Well hello there guys and dolls. I hope you are all doing well, and are not minding the shorter days too much? I love them, actually. I always think I love  spring best and, much as I do love it, there is something so romantic about the changing colours of autumn, and the mists and dew and fruit. It's a throwback to school times, I think, but September to me really feels like the month of new resolutions and routines and commitments to be better. Usually, at this time of year the commitments are personal; to cook from scratch more, to keep the house tidier. I rarely manage the latter, but to hell with it. I keep trying, and that's what matters.

It's been a BRILLIANT month or so. I have felt so, so much better. The depression is starting to lift - HOOORAH! I have been willing it to lift for months, convincing myself that it was going and that it's departure could be measured. However, like you embrace the extra minutes of daylight in January and February, it seemed too long in coming and I feared I would never be right again. However, somehow over the summer, my eyes turned away from the depression. And now, like early March, I can definitely see that there's less darkness. It's not summer yet, but it's not winter either. And boy, am I happy to tell you that.

One (rather large) downside to my health issues is that I have recently been properly diagnosed with ME/CFS. However, I'm feeling upbeat about it. I do use crutches and I do have pain but, on the whole, it feels so much more liveable with than the depression and, dear Lord, am I grateful for that. I am still at the stage where I am learning what I can and can't do, and some days I can do precious little. However, that's cool. At the moment I can sit on the sofa and knit, which pleases my soul.

I'm knitting furiously for my autumn / winter season on Folksy. Part of me is chuckling because I really have missed the boat. However, if I can get my lines up my the end of the first week in November I will be pleased. Next year, I will start seasonal knitting MUCH earlier!

I have to stop now - we're having toad in the hole for dinner and it needs my attention. The darkness is drawing in and Dom will just have set off from work. Charlie is watching Ben 10 on television and Jonathan has just come in from playing football, all muddy and smelling of earthy grass and is heading up for a shower. I can't tell you how much I love my little family. It's just a deep feeling of happiness and satisfaction, warm and fuzzy like cocoa on a cold day. I am very lucky to live my life. It has its ups and downs, and its challenges, but I have such special people around me and for that, I am blessed.

Love to you all

Claire x

PS the picture is of my baby knotty hat, knitted for a friend and photographer. You can find it here.