Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Depression Rides Again

Just a short post today, I have a crafty taa-daa which I might post later, but I really wanted to talk about my depression for a while.

I am on the black slide again at the moment, and I have no idea why. I am worried my medication is no longer as effective - this happened before with fluoxetine. I probably should go back to the doctors, but I am afraid to. Pathetic, no? I don't want to phone, and I don't want to confront the fact that I probably should be on other medication, and go through that awful 2 week adjustment period again.

I have an appointment to be assessed by a counsellor on the 29th October - that's 3 months since the breakdown started. I feel abandoned. I have no idea how to access the services I desperately need. Trying to cope seems to only be masking my real feelings, as everyone around me seems so uncomfortable about acknowledging them.

Mornings are especially hard at the moment. Each day I wonder whether today will be the day I take the overdose. I am afraid of myself.

Nothing much else to add really.

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