Friday, 21 August 2009

Keep on keeping on....

I think my last post was, in hindsight, a tad optimistic. I had claimed 5 days of feeling better when, in truth, the fifth day was only a couple of hours in. That day, the next and this morning haven't been as good - although I have got a lot of stuff done.

We've cleared out the annexe and sold a whole heap of things and taken yet more to the charity shop and I feel so much lighter for doing so. Dom has suggested the annexe be my "lady shed" which I am thrilled about - a pretty little place for knitting, fabric and all things crafty. Maybe you could call it a studio - although that sounds very grand, and makes me a little embarrassed as I am only an enthusiastic amateur. I have spent most of the last two days painting my lady shed, and Dom's putting some pretty wallpaper up today. I can't wait to show it to you.

I've been up since 4am when Charlie decided he was afraid of the dark. He went straight back to sleep with a cuddle, but I am afraid I let me demons get hold of me and I have been awake since. I am panicking about all the things I need to do but haven't got a grip of, because evening opening my emails has been so frightening. I know it sounds pathetic, but I have to get it out somehow. I just feel completely crippled when it comes to communicating with others. Meeting people face to face seems fine, but email and (gawd, by far the worse) The Phone and now also, The Letter scare the crap off me and I'd rather walk 50 miles than do any of the above.

Anyway, I have to get on with it. Whilst I have been posting this I have downloaded all 127 emails that have been waiting for me and now I have the scary task of actually dealing with them. I really, really wish I could stay in my comfort zone that little bit longer.

Will update you later - but do send any spare bravery vibes you have my way, they'll be much appreciated x

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